(BOD - Sara Carbonero; thanks to CH)
Bob Sheppard’s honey-dipped voice must be spinning around in his grave after Derek Jeter’s actions against the Tampa Bay Rays on Wednesday night. For someone who is always lauded for ‘playing the game the right way’, Jeter’s actions were despicable and an affront to the wonderful game of baseball.
For those of you who don’t know, a pitch was delivered to Jeter high and tight. He was unable to get out of the way and the ball struck the knob of his shaft (on the bat; get your minds out of the gutter).
However, it all happened so fast that the umpire thought the ball hit Jeter on the hand when he tried to jump out of the way. Now, if the episode just ended there, with Jeter quietly taking his base upon the umpire’s directions, then I would have no issue with the sequence whatsoever.
Unfortunately, Mr. Yankee, Derek Jeter, did not go quietly into the night. He hopped around the home plate area shaking his fist like a 12 year old who just discovered his penis for the first time. He grimaced in pain and engaged in all sorts of embarrassing histrionics.
Captain America even called the trainer out to look at his phantom injury. It was really quite the acting performance. Jeter’s pop tart, Minka Kelly, should have taken some notes.
Jeter got his free base and the next batter hit a two run home run. Luckily, the baseball Gods abhorred Jeter’s actions and forced the Yankees to ultimately lose the game and their division lead in one fell swoop.
Number 2 even had the audacity to shrug the entire situation off after the game with a stupid, shit-eating grin stapled to his pretty boy face. With instant replay so readily available, everyone on the continent knows that Jeter is a liar and a faker.
I’ve never liked the guy, but I always had begrudging respect for him. Not anymore. He’s a bum. I hope he never gets to 3000 hits and contracts some new super strain of VD.
Plus, I’ve had to listen to a plethora of talking heads commend Jeter for being ‘smart.’
What the fuck?
If A-Rod did the same thing, every media personality in the world would be trying to burn him at the stake. Bud Selig would probably suspend him for fifty games and we’d have to protect our children from Rodriguez’s abhorrent behaviour.
It’s ridiculous. And now my left arm hurts.
Have a great weekend.
(BOD - Ines Sainz)
Before I begin today’s discussion, I just want to allow my rainbow liberal readers to start bunching their panties up now and start formulating some needlessly tired comment on equality and feminism and blah, blah, blah.
Ready?
(Quick aside: Nice performance by Kyle Drabek last night. Not showing off, not falling behind. He put forth a solid effort in his first major league start and showed tremendous poise for a rookie in his big league debut. Do I still wish we had Roy Halladay instead? Absolutely)
A kerfuffle over female reporters being allowed in male locker rooms has been a much-debated subject over the past couple of days. Ines Sainz, of TV Azteca, went into to the New York Jets locker room to interviewing their quarterback, Dirty Sanchez, who is of Mexican descent.
Now, Sainz is a bombshell (evidenced by her status as the BOD). Thus, she is exponentially better looking than 99% of reporters who ever venture into professional sports locker rooms. Obviously, the players on the Jets roster were impressed with the physical attributes of Miss Sainz.
This is where the story gets murky.
Allegedly, when she was in the locker room, Sainz was showered with demeaning comments and derisive catcalls, the nature of which is never made explicit. So, we don’t actually know what was said. Also, a Jets coach is accused of throwing balls (of the football variety) in Sainz’s direction on the practice field in order for his players to catch a closer glimpse of the Mexican goddess.
Now I can’t condone rude comments made directly to Sainz’s face. That’s just immature, loutish behaviour. However, if some of the comments and catcalls were overheard by other media members, and not within Sainz’s earshot, then they should never have been reported in the first place.
Let me speak for the male species. When we see hot chicks, we talk about them. Always have, always will. The hotter the woman, the more we’ll say. Sure, the comments could be considered demeaning or offensive but, newsflash, men are pigs. And we would never say these things so the woman could actually hear. That would ruin any chance we’d have at sleeping with her (Yes, this is how our minds work).
The fact the coach throwing balls in her direction is even an issue is the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my life. That is literally the first game every boy learns to run when trying to attract the attention of pretty girls.
You’re playing tag at recess; run around where the girls are playing. Playing basketball; pick the basket closest to the girls. This is picking up chicks 101. I think it’s hilarious that millionaire football players have to resort to such sophomoric hijinx to get the attention of a female reporter.
Here’s a personal example: when Gretzpo and I have done our past Caribbean vacations and we’re playing long toss on the beach, we always throw in the direction of where the most babes are located. It’s just common sense.
Clinton Portis, of the Washington Redskins, got into hot water when he made some comments on the radio about this situation. He basically said, and I’m paraphrasing to make Portis sound more coherent, a woman who goes into a locker room with an opportunity to look at 53 naked men is going to sneak a peek or two. She’s probably going to be attracted to someone. There’s nothing wrong with that if it’s subtle, but it’s human nature. I’m sure she’s there to do her job, but she’s also going to be checking someone out. I would do the same.
Portis’ comments are being investigated by the NFL. Are you fucking kidding me? Who gives a shit? He’s speaking the truth.
Everyone is so damn sensitive about everything these days. We all need to lighten up and just enjoy life more.
Getting back to the column title, Jack Morris called this over twenty years ago. He was against female reporters in the locker room for this very reason. His quote when asked about the issue is still my favourite sports quote of all time (Yes, I know I’ve discussed this before):
“The only time I want to talk to a woman when I’m naked is if I’m on top of her or she’s on top of me.”
(BOD - Cheryl Cole)
Today’s column topic comes courtesy of my cohort, CSzem. Apparently, his tears have dried over the Cowboys apathetic performance Sunday night and he has thrown himself back into news rushing across the sports landscape.
I’m not sure why he didn’t just write the column himself if he was so passionate about Eric Tillman miraculously acquiring another managerial job in the Canadian Football League. I can only assume that he realized his writing ability pales in comparison to mine and he wanted this discussion to be started by one of my extraordinarily written masterpieces.
I’m not terribly enthused about this topic because it forced me to do some cursory research on a league I don’t give two shits about. I’d rather watch the WNBA than a CFL game, but I digress.
Back in January, Eric Tillman was charged with the sexual assault of his 16 year old babysitter. I spent a few paragraphs giving my thoughts on the subject and then I put the issue to bed. Here’s what I said at the time:
Apparently, Tillman went up behind the girl, put his fingers through the belt loops on her hips and pulled her towards him. And then . . .
That’s it.
What? How is that sexual assault? Yes, what he did was creepy and wrong, but there is no way that should be considered sexual assault, which is a serious crime.
If grabbing a girl’s hips is sexual assault, then I have to go consult with an attorney after I’m done here. I might be in a little bit of trouble. Has anyone in the Saskatchewan judicial system ever been to a bar on a Saturday night?
Eric Tillman: guilty of being a creep, yes; guilty of sexual assault, not a chance.
I still stand by my previous comments. Yes, what Tillman did was categorically wrong and I’d want to beat the shit out of him if I was the girl’s father, but I hardly consider that a crime. And before some readers condemn me for being an incorrigible prick, the courts agreed with me. Tillman doesn’t have a criminal record and he was absolutely discharged from the crime.
That being said, I have no bloody clue why the Edmonton Eskimos would be willing to hire Tillman in such a public position. The negative publicity that will stem from this hire will be legendary in Western Canada. For some reason, most Canadians don’t think men in their 40s should grope young girls.
I know, I think it’s ridiculous too.
I’m sure that Tillman has a fantastic football mind, evidenced by his three Grey Cup Championships as a general manager, but why in holy hell would Edmonton put him as the face of the front office.
Bury him in the scouting department and let him run the team behind the scenes like a puppeteer pulling a marionette’s strings. Don’t let him be a visible entity of your team.
Apparently, the Eskimos are a terrible team which isn’t surprising considering they couldn’t pass a media 101 class. Why would anyone expect they could play football too?
I have an idea for Edmonton’s next genius move: maybe bring in OJ Simpson to be the offensive coordinator. It would probably take some heat off of the Tillman hiring.
(BOD - Edyta)
I can’t believe we’re here already. In just two, short hours, we will find out what fame-seeking whore who doesn’t deserve to win a game of bingo will be rewarded with a $250,000 cash prize for living in a mansion and having sex with a plethora of beautiful people.
I love America.
8:02 – “I’m really falling hard for Dave.” Really, Natalie? You’ve already admitted to fooling around with Jesse B and Kovacs at some point in the past. Are you falling hard for Dave or just serving the next customer in line like you’re a New York style delicatessen?
8:09 – Did Elizabeth just threaten Kovacs if he checks out their female dance instructor? What the hell is wrong with her? She is the poster child for needy, psycho, bitchy women.
8:11 – Finally Kovacs is showing some balls. That’s right, my man, you ogle that fine European ass.
8:12 – Hey, this Louis guy is dancing with my man! Hands off, dandy boy!
8:12 – I guarantee Kovacs has a raging erection during this scene and, honestly, who can blame him. That broad’s ass is unreal; like it was sculpted by Michelangelo himself.
8:14 – “Let’s just get to the point and get it over with.” That perfectly encapsulates my philosophy on sex.
8:15 – Newsflash, Elizabeth! You are nowhere near as hot as Edyta. That’s like comparing prime rib to a pile of dog shit.
8:21 – How much does Dave’s outfit cost and how I do get my hands on one?
8:22 – Kitptyn looks like a five year old ring bearer. Who dressed him?
8:24 – Dear God, I can’t believe Trista used to be considered ‘hot’ by reality TV terms. We’ve come a long way.
8:26 – Am I gay for watching this? Don’t answer that.
8:27 – I have no idea what I’m watching, but I’m pretty sure Kovacs and Elizabeth are terrible.
8:28 – Just got a text message from Cousin Tewks: “I think you and I dancing together would do better than Elizabeth and Kovacs.” Unfortunately, he’s not wrong.
8:33 – Are David and Natalie at a rave? I feel like I’m watching a Miami Sound Machine music video.
8:36 – Tenley is a fucking moron. I hate myself for being attracted to her.
8:45 – Haha, Dave just basically broke up with Natalie. “It’s too bad we live in different cities . . .” Yeah, I’m sure Dave is broken up about it. Now he just has thousands of women and one man who writes a blog vying for his affections. I’m sure he’ll be fine.
8:52 – What a great moment. Dave gets to stay and Elizabeth and her shitty hair have to go home. Plus, Kovacs is now a free man. Run, brother. Run!!
9:04 – Kovacs got rid of Elizabeth!! Atta boy!! Finally, he’s thinking clearly. Now, he’s out there swinging, bee-bopping and scatting all over the place.
9:09 – Why does Dave have a shirt on? This is bullshit.
9:17 – All of these broads ripping Dave apart are just jealous that he won’t sleep with them. Move on, ladies. Its ok, Dave, I have the same problem.
9:20 – The look on Craig’s face when Michelle said they allegedly hooked up was fantastic. Just pure, unadulterated arrogance. He, Dave, and I really need to go out drinking together.
9:27 – This is such a blatant ripoff of Survivor that I don’t even want to comment on this ‘final tribal council’ bullshit.
9:31 – Is Tenley really talking about her divorce again? And how she most likely got a mortgage for a house she couldn’t afford and then lost it? So, everyone should reward her financial stupidity? I hate her so much.
9:42 – The three man bro hug between Dave, Wes, and Kovacs was the most exciting moment of the season for me.
9:48 – This is a pretty cool little twist they have to divvy up the money. I’m legitimately excited to see what they pick.
9:54 – Nice fakeout by Natalie! She had me going there. Those are some pretty sweet acting chops, I must admit.
9:59 – They say love don’t come easy………….Go fuck yourself Wes.
What did you think? Post thoughts to comments.
(BOD - Chelsea Handler)
We touched on a variety of topics in today's podcast:
- My Sunday plans and my reason for knowing much less than usual
- CSzem's endangerment of his son
- The Dallas Cowboys choke job
- US Open
- BMW Championship
- Kyle Drabek
Talkin' with Tewks Live - Potpourri
Enjoy.
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