(BOD - Gina Gershon)
Yes, regular readers of the blog, this is my third consecutive post about the great game of baseball. I am forced to listen to this country fawn all over hockey for eight months a year, so I think I deserve to talk ball whenever I want.
I watched the New York Yankees play the Kansas City Royals last night (kudos to Sportsnet to broadcasting different MLB games pretty much every night. It’s the next best thing to actually paying for an Extra Innings package).
New York first baseman, Mark Teixera, came to the plate in the early innings and I saw an interesting graphic about the switch hitter. He’s only hitting .260 at this point in the season, but .500 in his past seven games and over .380 for the month of July. That led the announcers to happily discuss that ‘Tex’ is heating up and what it means for the Yankees offence for the rest of the year.
Also, they talked about how Teixera always seems to struggle early in the season, but heats up along with the weather. They called him a ‘notoriously slow starter.’ For some insane reason, no one has a problem with this.
Well I do.
In what other profession are you allowed to start your day/week with very low levels of productivity with the caveat that you will ‘eventually come around’ and start producing to your potential?
This reputation has followed Teixera throughout his entire career. He plays terribly in April and May, but is terrific for the rest of the season. If I’m an owner, why would I want to pay a guy millions of dollars a year for great performances in only 75% of the games? Shouldn’t he only get 75% of his salary?
That would be like an office worker going into his job on Monday, sitting on his ass doing nothing until Wednesday morning and then start working all the way till end of day Friday. Would that worker be employed very long? Doubtful.
The excuses given for Teixera are that he needs time to ‘find his swing.’ Isn’t that the point of spring training? Or maybe start working out in January so you have the ability to play five innings without being winded in early March.
A few years ago, Vernon Wells had an uncharacteristically hot start and it was all apparently due to his commitment to his offseason training and he was applauded for that. Seriously? A professional athlete who works out in the offseason deserves our praise? I would think that should be expected; it’s not like these guys have winter jobs to help make ends meet. What else do they have to do?
Rasheed Wallace took the whole ‘playing into shape’ idea to a new level with the Boston Celtics this season. He was fat and terrible until the playoffs started. He literally took the entire regular season to get himself up to par. Sheed managed to have both a slow start and a slow finish.
He kept telling the media that he would ready to go once the playoffs rolled around? That would be commendable if he wasn’t making millions of dollars turning the regular season into an extended training camp.
(BOD - Kate Middleton)
I rarely enjoy being told what to do, but last night was a slow news day in the sports world and I couldn’t think of anything else to write. In yesterday’s comments section, AG proposed the following column idea:
For a change of pace say I had an in with the Rogers family and could put forward suggestions on possible changes to the organization what would you want me to say? Assume you were given carte blanche to do what you wanted what would you do?
Let’s hear at least 8 specific actions you would take to turn the team around and I mean specific.
It’s an intriguing idea and it allowed me a few moments of wishful thinking that I, in fact, wield clout over a multi-billion dollar operation, but, to me, the issue of the Jays being terrible cannot be amended by “8 specific actions” to turn the team around.
I have no problem with the Jays not being a good team this year. Truthfully, I thought they were going to be a lot worse and I even said so during our MLB preview podcast. It’s the nature of the game; there are ebbs and flows year in and year out. Some teams have to be at the top of the standings, some teams have to be at the bottom, and some have to be in the middle.
This is a rebuilding process and I think the current Jays management staff has done an excellent job stockpiling for the future and instituting a top notch farm system and scouting staff.
Where is the problem?
The simple fact that the exact same sentence could have been written nine years ago about JP Ricciardi’s regime. A rebuilding process is a necessary part of pro sports for teams that don’t have the capability to write blank cheques. However, Toronto is currently on year 15 of this rebuilding process and its complete bullshit.
In 1992 and 1993, the Blue Jays had the highest payroll in the league. I’m not saying they need to go there again, but it would be nice to throw a $100 million dollar team on the field without the powers that be crying poor.
The inability of the Jays to sign and keep legitimate superstars would be the first specific action I would like to see rectified. I’ve thought of more, but they all can be traced to one, overarching specific action that this franchise needs: a singular owner who loves baseball.
This is especially relevant considering George Steinbrenner recently passed away. Teams cannot be successful when they are run by a corporation whose bottom line is make money. You cannot create a championship team with that philosophy (case in point: The Maple Leafs and the teacher’s pension fund).
To win a title, you need a leader whose hobby is owning the team. He buys the franchise for the cache, and the notoriety, and the chance to bring a title to the city so he can become a legend. Such owners aren’t concerned about the bottom line; they just want to win.
As soon as you start running the team like a business, you have relinquished a competitive advantage because then you’re concerned with how much things costs instead of producing W’s on the scoreboard. An owner should not even buy a team unless they are so financially sound that taking a bath on the team’s end of year financials will not adversely affect their overall bottom line.
Owners should be in the business of winning, not making a buck with their sports team. I suppose you could make the argument that the Jays had such a singular owner in Ted Rogers, but the guy didn’t even like baseball (he’s like Adam Dunn).
Why would he sink money into a product that has no guaranteed rate of return and that he doesn’t truly care about?
In sum, what do the Jays need: a Canadian George Steinbrenner.
(BOD - Billie Piper)
Truthfully, I haven’t had much time to watch baseball since a few days before the all star break. The summer is just too busy, the MLB season is just too long, and the Toronto Blue Jays just aren’t good enough.
In fact, I completely forgot that the Jays were playing the past week. The only clue I had was the highlights from Monday night’s game that I saw when I got home from baseball.
What did I see? Only another late game meltdown by the human gas can masquerading as the team’s closer, Kevin Gregg. My distaste from Gregg stems from his actions after a game a few weeks ago when he let loose with a typical Kevin Gregg performance: fastballs with no real purpose and no chance of threatening the strike zone, and off-speed pitches that drift lazily into batters’ wheelhouses.
For some reason, Gregg went after the umpire, complaining about balls and strikes, and got himself kicked out of the game. Here’s what I said about Gregg at the time:
There was no need for Gregg to go after the home plate umpire last night. Yes, he may have gotten squeezed on two calls. However, he walked FIVE in the inning and at least one of them was four straight balls. Gregg showed zero command of the strike zone. Why the hell should the umpire give him the benefit of the doubt? I saw at least four pitches that were saved from denting the backstop only by the athleticism of John Buck.
Great pitchers don’t whine to the umpires. They make adjustments. Great pitchers don’t walk five in one inning, blowing a great performance by your team. The honeymoon period with Kevin Gregg is now over. He’s done. Finished.
Then, last week, Cito came out of the dugout to pull Gregg from a game in which he walked three batters in a row to load the bases. Did Gregg sheepishly hand the ball to his manager, embarrassed at such a shoddy performance? No, he slapped the ball into Gaston’s hands and mouthed off to him on his way back to the dugout. He was actually pissed that Gaston was pulling him from the game.
Are you serious? How can a professional athlete have such little self-awareness?
What happened in Monday night’s game made me smile from ear to ear. Gregg entered the game and began pitching like shit as per usual. He gave up a couple of screaming line drives, threw a few balls everywhere but the strike zone, and blew the Jays one run lead.
Did Cito take him out? Absolutely not. He let Gregg hang himself out there to teach the arrogant piece of trash a lesson. Gaston basically told him, “You’re going to show me up on the field, then I’m going to let you blow another game for this team.”
It was fantastic to see an old school manager show an entitled millionaire how to properly conduct himself on the field. Unfortunately, the relationship is irreparably harmed. AA has to trade Gregg and get that bum out of town.
Long live Cito.
(BOD - Selita Ebanks)
This recap will be a little bit different this morning. I was forced to eschew my regular, minute-by-minute recap due to baseball. We were playing the same team we brawled against a few weeks ago, so I couldn’t pass up the opportunity for another donnybrook.
As so often happens, no extracurricular activities took place in the rematch, but we did destroy those pansies 14-1.
Thus, I will recap sections of the show as I whip through the broadcast on PVR.
Bachelor Packing Montage
- I literally have nothing to say about this segment except I’m pissed off that the producers forced us to rehash past footage as a time-filler. What a joke. Let’s get to Tahiti already. I don’t need to see these guys pack their swimsuits for a three day trip.
- Oh, hold on. Frank has feelings for an ex-girlfriend? And the plot thickens.
- How could he just have these feelings for ‘Nicole’ now? Could it be that he wanted to appear on as many episodes as he can, so people in the industry know who he is and he can pass along his shitty screenplays to them? Actually, that’s probably exactly what I’d do.
- How can Frank have time to fly to Chicago? Is there a Chicago to Tahiti layover I’m not aware of? This seems as contrived and fake as the phone call to Justin’s alleged girlfriend.
- Why isn’t Nicole wondering why Frank is being followed by a camera crew?
- Pile of dog shit: a bed of roses is analogous to Nicole: Ali
- Why does Nicole even give a shit about what Frank is saying? She hasn’t seen this little twerp in months.
- She thought about Frank everyday? We are talking about the same guy, right? He must be hung like a Woolly Mammoth.
- This seems like a bad production of a cheesy soap opera. What a douchebag Frank is. I hope Ali beats the living shit out of him.
- “I miss your kisses.” I already hate Nicole more than anyone else this season and she’s only had five minutes of screen time.
- “I’m going have to go find Ali” is code for “I want to take this free trip to Tahiti and maybe try to bang Ali before I come back to Chicago and your ugly face.”
Ali and Roberto in Tahiti
- So if Frank is taking himself out of the running isn’t this entire episode pretty much pointless?
- “This is mi casa.” Wow, I had no idea that Roberto was Spanish.
- Fuckin’ helicopters.
- The island is in the shape of a heart? Uh, I don’t think so. Maybe a heart drawn by Muhammad Ali.
- Ali’s body is almost as good as Roberto’s. Wait, what? You know what I mean.
- Why is Roberto sweating so much? This feels like a hostage negotiation.
- Roberto’s going to drop an L-bomb.
- I’ve never seen him so awkward before. Aw, that was a genuinely sweet moment. Christ, I’m such a homo.
- Fantasy Suite Date!! Ok, here we go. Roberto is going to rock her world.
- “I want to spend as much time with you as possible.” Nice euphemism, Ali. I guess saying you’ve wanted to fuck his brains out since the first episode would come across a little whorish.
- “You’re soaking wet!” That’s what she said.
Chris and Ali in Tahiti
- Is she going out with Chris the morning after she slept with Roberto? Talk about sloppy seconds.
- Ali still pretending she’s a tour guide. We get it. She can read and memorize a cue card. We’re all very impressed.
- Ali has really hairy arms. I couldn’t tell which arm was hers and which was Chris’. I could have done without that shot in HD.
- I would like to accumulate a few more pearls and give Ali a necklace as a present. Probably on the Fantasy Suite date.
- This is coming from a man who lives and breathes pina coladas in the Caribbean, but those drinks are extremely effeminate.
- Chris is a very nice guy, but he makes for very boring television.
- If Chris is that bad of a kisser, I don’t have high hopes for his skills in the boudoir.
- All the best, Chris, but you have some pretty big shoes to fill after the Latin Lothario laid some pipe the night before. He better be a very, uh, ‘generous’ lover.
Frank the Douchebag Breaking Ali’s Heart
- I hope Frank gets eaten by a shark.
- Harrison should leap across the room and punch Frank square in his beady, little eyes.
- How is Nicole going to feel when she watches Frank fawn all over Ali like a schoolgirl in the first episodes?
- Just man up and tell her. Frank is such a drama queen.
- How could he break the heart of a girl with a beautiful face like that? I just want to console Ali and hold her. And maybe take advantage of her emotional state.
- Frank is actually crying more than Ali. This is pathetic. The guy needs some testosterone injections.
- Ok fine, you both gave up everything to be here. You do realize you’re in fucking Tahiti right now, right? Get over it.
- Harrison is such a great guy. He should end up with one of these broads one season.
- If this was a romantic comedy, Harrison and Ali would be making out right now.
- Frank is everything you’ve wanted in a guy? That is a compete slap in the face to Roberto and Chris.
- They need to stop trying to drum up faux suspense from this forthcoming rose ceremony. Both guys are accepting roses; let’s move on to next week.
What did you think? Post thoughts to comments.
(BOD - Libby Dibiase)
CSzem and I reviewed the happenings at the 2010 Open Championship. I pat myself on the back for a correct prediction (and ignore a wrong one). We discuss the tournament and links golf as a whole and try to figure out if Tiger Woods will ever win a tournament again.
Plus, we get to know Louis Ooosthuizen.
Talkin' with Tewks Live: British Open
Enjoy.
Posts
