(BOD - Dianna Agron)
No, the column title does not refer to my penis. It refers to Roy Halladay fighting through six tough innings to put his team in a position to win last night.
The first inning of last night’s game was the worst I have seen Roy pitch in years. He’s been hit around before, but never has struggled so much with his control. Doc looked, dare I say, nervous. He was wildly overthrowing, which was very surprising considering Halladay’s calling card is a steely demeanour in the face of adversity.
When Philadelphia’s pitching coach trudged out to the mound for a visit, the look on Roy’s face was pure, unadulterated anger. It was the epitome of ‘if looks could kill.’
I’ve had that before. A few years ago, I was pitching in a tournament against a really obnoxious team. They strung a few runs together in the first inning and started making fun of my white cleats and my team in general. I got Doc’s look on my face and proceeded to throw fastballs the rest of the game and ended up striking out 12. Don’t piss off bulldog pitchers.
I don’t want to make excuses for Roy and let my man love for the guy cloud my impartial judgement, but it certainly seemed like the umpire was squeezing Doc on the outer edges of the strike zone. I loved how Halladay stared the man in blue down on his way to the dugout.
Speaking of that staredown, I now hate Pat Burrell. Burrell had the audacity to think Halladay was staring at him as he walked back to the dugout. Why would he be looking at you, Patrick? Roy just K’ed you looking. Shut your mouth and get back to the dugout. Instead, Burrell tried to act like a tough guy by saying “What the fuck are you looking at, motherfucker?” Despite Burrell’s obvious mastery of the English language, maybe he should worry more about keeping his average above the Mendoza line and less about people supposedly staring at him.
It was a sloppily played game and I’m not going to allow the intermittent rain that fell throughout the game to be used as an excuse. The slop was typified by a Ryan Howard error in the middle part of the game. A hard hit grounder came his way and instead of getting in front of the ball, Howard flung his glove backhanded towards the ball and booted it carelessly. It was a play ripped from Roger Dorn’s playbook. Allow Lou Brown to explain.
Cody Ross was up to his old tricks again last night with an RBI double, but the much-maligned Phillies bullpen rose to the challenge I gave them earlier in the week and followed Doc’s performance with three scoreless innings. If they can get that up, I can see Philly snatching victory in this series from the jaws of defeat.
Now the series moves back to Philadelphia and if it goes to seven games, look to see Roy make an appearance in the later innings.
I can’t wait.
(Postscript: apparently Roy hurt his groin in the second inning which is why his velocity plummeted throughout the game. That little nugget just gives me even more respect for the man).
(BOD - Faith Hill)
The Yankees managed to earn a stay of execution last night but, truthfully, it’s just a matter of time before Texas puts New York away to punch their first World Series ticket in franchise history. Yesterday’s column was all about the ALCS, so let’s give some love to the senior circuit and last night’s epic, seesaw battle.
(A caveat: He Who Hits Bombs and I were texting during last night’s game and we agreed that the winner of last night’s game would go on to win the series. My thinking was that a loss of that magnitude, with so many lead changes, would be disastrous to the collective psyche of the losing team. As a staunch Doc supporter, I sincerely hope that I am wrong).
I can’t begin a column about the NLCS without mentioning, once again, the incredible Cody Ross. There’s no reason for me to like this guy, but I can’t help respect what he’s doing in this postseason. Joe Blanton even upped the ante from Roy Oswalt and hit Ross on the elbow to try to snuff out his scorching hot hitting prowess. It didn’t work, as Ross confidently crushed a double in his next at-bat. He has to be the MVP of the LCS, right?
I think it’s safe to say the best adjective to describe the Phillies bullpen is beleaguered. The offence finally woke up and showed some mettle, coming back from some early deficits, but the bullpen couldn’t hold onto a lead. What does it say about Charlie Manuel’s trust in his guys that he summoned Roy Oswalt to pitch the ninth inning? Is Brad Lidge even still on the postseason roster?
If Philly’s starters get into any trouble in the remaining games, I fear it may be the end for the City of Brotherly Love. Especially with the way the Giants staff and bullpen are throwing. I definitely have the ‘Fear the Beard’ fever. I want to pump iron with Giants closer, Brian Wilson. He looks like he has some serious lifting numbers and his beard is just magical.
At this moment, I owe an apology to Cszem. I accused him of being racist in the podcast for being deathly afraid of Charles Oakley. He sent me a message last night assuring me that he’s just as scared of Brian Wilson as he is of Oak. Thus, my co-host is not a racist, just a pussy.
The situation (Jersey Shore finale tonight!!) looks dire for Philadelphia, but they could not be set up better for the next three games: Hallday, Oswalt, and Hamels. Of course, the arms on the other side of the field are pretty good too.
Here’s hoping to an epic Game 5 tonight.
(BOD - Julie Michaels)
The ALCS is done. Finished. Although, I guess that is from a metaphorical perspective at the moment, until Texas completes the mercy killing of the once heralded Yankees dynasty, the Bronx Bombers theoretically still have a chance.
I think we can all agree that the chance is approximately zero percent. Even if the Yankees manage to win the next two games, what do they get as a reward? The chance to face Cliff Lee again in a Game 7 deep in the heart of Texas.
The Rangers have completely dominated every facet of this series and would have already wrapped up a league championship crown were it not for an epic bullpen meltdown in the eighth inning of Game 1. One bad inning in four games. They’ve laid the smackdown on the boys from the Bronx.
(Where are He Who Hits Bombs quotes about the greatness of the Yankees now? I don’t hear anything. He’s awfully quiet this time of year.)
Onto the game notes:
Seeing two contested home runs by the Yankees in the same inning was surreal. I completely agree that Cano’s ball was over the fence, but it was obvious that Cruz might have had a play on the ball and he was interfered with by a fan. Thus, I think the correct call should have been a ground rule double. On replay, Berkman’s was obviously foul, so it’s great to see the use of instant replay to make the correct call. That is the point of the technology in the first place.
I don’t know what has gotten into Gregg Zaun, but he’s like an old man angry at kids for walking on his grass. In every segment he does throughout the game with Jamie Campbell, he just seems continually pissed off. One, I think he’s upset, rightfully so, that he has to spend so much time with Jamie Campbell. Two, the in game segments are sponsored by Wisers and I bet Zaun, as a recovering alcoholic, wants nothing more than to let that cool, brown liquid caress his throat. I’d be edgy too.
The best line of the night came when he was watching the replay of Cano’s homer and, with much distaste, deadpanned, “Check out the fat kid on the left trying to make the catch.” Comedy gold.
AJ Burnett almost had me fooled last night. He threw decently enough through five innings and had his team in a position to win the game (personally I’d want a little more than five ok innings from a guy making $16 million a year, but I digress).
But then, of course, the real AJ showed up and he managed to self-combust in spectacular fashion. After intentionally walking a batter to get to Bengie Molina, what does Burnett do with his first pitch? He throws a fastball that drifts lazily into the inner half of the zone and Molina smoked it into the stands for a three run home run. It was a classic case of lost focus and Burnett’s career calling card.
Derek Jeter was the lone bright spot for the pinstripes as it seemed like he made it his personal mission to make me look a like fool for calling him old and washed up. In my defence, he did get those big hits off Tommy “Double Chin” Hunter who I’m surprised Nolan Ryan even let in the rotation considering the latter’s intense devotion to physical fitness.
Truthfully, I stopped watching after Burnett blew up because I knew the game was over. And there was a finale special of Teen Mom showing on MTV.
(BOD - DJ Tanner)
The baseball postseason is in full swing with four teams vying for a World Series berth and at least one game on TV every day this week. I'm in heaven. Today's podcast topics include:
- Cliff Lee's continued playoff dominance
- The reasoning for Lee's success
- Derek Jeter's diminishing skills
- Cole Hamels and his workout regimen
- AJ Burnett's inevitable gas can performance tonight
- Nolan Ryan's greatness as an owner
- CSzem's a racist
Talkin' with Tewks Live - LCS Talk
Enjoy.
(BOD - Katy Mixon)
CSzem has ducked yet another Monday morning podcast. This time his reasoning was that he had to go to work early. This time I actually believe the excuse, but I think it’s less that he had to go to work early and more that he was forced out of the house by Mrs. CSzem by losing another mortgage payment betting on the anemic Dallas Cowboys to win a game. The ‘Boys are now 1-4. Yikes. America’s team, my ass.
Plus, I’m sure he’s not looking forward to our next conversation where I upbraid him once again for the idiotic decision to bypass Lincecum and keep him away from Halladay. I went to a party with my baseball team on Saturday and mentioned CSzem’s theory: he would have been laughed out of the room.
And I know he will never agree on this point due to the fact he’s not an athlete and will never understand how an athlete’s mind works. Professional or otherwise.
I really want to hate Cody Ross, but I cannot. There’s nothing I can’t stand more as a pitcher than seeing an under-talented scrub guess correctly on a pitch, swing with his eyes closed, and hit one out of the park.
But then Ross took Halladay deep twice on Saturday night, shocking a nation. Then he hit another one last night against Roy Oswalt breaking up his no-hitter in the fifth inning. What’s more impressive is the circumstances in which Ross hit the solo shot.
In his first at-bat, Oswalt buzzed Ross high and tight with a fastball, which was fantastic to see from a pitcher’s perspective. Ross obviously had a lot of confidence going into the game (who wouldn’t be after hitting two jacks off the best pitcher in the game) and looked way too comfortable at the plate. Oswalt just wanted to make his feet move a bit and be worried about a beaning instead of hitting another home run.
I have to give Ross credit. He took the inside pitch in stride and took revenge on Oswalt by hammering a pitch in his next at-bat into the left field bleachers. I would suggest Phillies pitchers stop throwing inside fastballs to Ross in the same, exact location.
Last night was the first time I’ve watched Oswalt pitch for an extended period of time and I was very impressed. His delivery reminds me of a smaller, whiter, righthanded version of David Price. Oswalt’s fastball explodes out of his hand, but he can also locate the pitch down in the zone. Filthy stuff.
Kudos to Oswalt for hustling around the bases and scoring on a single from second base last night, showing that pitchers can be athletes too. I did not like how Joe Buck and Tim McCarver acted like they’ve never seen a pitcher who had the ability to run before. Not all pitchers are fat tubs of lard who possess one athletic skill. McCarver even had the audacity to ask if Oswalt would be ok to go out and pitch the next inning, in case he was too tired from running 360 feet over the course of ten minutes.
This is going to be a great series.
Tomorrow will be a special Tuesday podcast celebrating left-handed greatness with Cliff Lee and Andy Petitte on the mound in Game 3 and Tewks watching at home in his underwear.
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