Fans Go to Games to Watch the Players

(BOD - Jessica Biel)

The impetus for today’s column was provided in Wednesday’s Chicago White Sox where both Mark Buehrle and Ozzie Guillen were ejected for arguing with umpire Joe West. This column topic has been at the back of my mind for some time now, but I needed such an incident to really get my blood going.

First of all, there never should have been an issue in the first place as Buehrle did not balk either time the infraction was called by Joe West. As a left-handed pitcher, I would have rightfully lost my shit if such a call went against me, thereby nullifying my advantage in facing a runner at first base.

What I’m concerned with is that it appeared Joe West went looking for a confrontation and he felt that tossing two players out of the game would make the highlights on Sportscentre. This is part of a larger, disturbing trend I’ve noticed among officials at all levels throughout the past five years.

In the old days, it was said that an umpire did his job correctly if people didn’t notice him in the first place. However, in today’s ‘look at me’ society, that attitude is no longer the norm. Everyone wants to be the centre of attention.

I know of one umpire in my league who wants everyone to know what a great umpire he is and that he’s the absolute authority on the field; correct calls be damned. I literally think he makes shit up just to hear himself speak.

I think Joe West suffers from the same disease. Balks are rarely called, primarily because they are so tough to decipher, unless it’s an egregious offence. I’ve seen a myriad of replays of Buehrle’s supposed ‘balks’ and I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. There was no reason for him to make the call in the first place.

Then to toss Buehrle out of the game for a slight toss of the glove? Outrageous and completely uncalled for.

It is not just umpires and referees who are trying to make themselves bigger than the game. Play by play guys and colour commentators do the exact same thing. They all think of themselves as the funniest person to hit the airwaves since Bob Hope and they all resort to lame shticks to get attention.

Here’s a novel idea: how about you just call the game and leave the immature and unfunny histrionics at home?

There’s no way in hell grizzled broadcasting men like Ernie Harwell and Vin Scully would ever resort to such behaviour. That’s why I love Buck Martinez. There are times during Jays broadcasts that he doesn’t speak for 30 seconds. He understands that baseball doesn’t need to be inundated with unnecessary words. It’s important to let the game speak for itself.

Buck knows people aren’t tuning in for him. And that’s why he’s a great broadcaster.

The City of Boston is Terrified

(BOD - Nikki Reed)

Another start precluded me from watching any sports last night (I also missed the finale of American Idol; however, have no fear as my PVR worked overtime to capture Simon Cowell’s last stand).

I had a much better start last night. I got the win over one of the top teams in the province by allowing only one earned run on two hits through six innings and I was what baseball men deem, ‘effectively wild.’ Now I know what I need to do between starts, so it should bode well for a successful summer (or I’ll tear my rotator cuff on my next pitch, either one).

While I was icing my arm, I was able to catch the final minute of Game 5 of the NBA Eastern Conference Finals. The Orlando Magic were just putting the finishing touches on their second consecutive beatdown of the Boston Celtics, narrowing the Celts’ lead in the series to three games to two.

Truthfully, it doesn’t really matter who wins this series as they will be little more than glorified practice opponents against the winner of the Western Final. However, the circumstances surrounding the possible collapse of the Celtics has tremendous ramifications throughout the city of Boston.

Remember, it was a little over two weeks ago that the Bruins had a 3-0 series lead over the Philadelphia Flyers, only to lose the next four games in a row. Not only that, but Boston had 3-0 lead in the first period of Game 7 and still found a way to lose the series. Choke, thy name is Bruin.

Now, the Celtics are on the precipice of doing the same thing to an Orlando Magic team that dominated the first two rounds of the playoffs. They got complacent in the first three games against Boston, but seem to have found the groove. And I think the Celtics may be too old to stop the bleeding.

Before this year, only two NHL teams have ever rebounded from a 3-0 deficit (1942 Toronto Maple Leafs and the 1975 New York Islanders for you trivia buffs) and no NBA team has ever come back. Could the same city be home to two epic collapses in the same postseason? The chances against that are staggering, but the city of Boston is used to defying the odds.

It was six years ago that the Red Sox became the first team in baseball history to come back from a 3-0 hole when they defeated the Yankees in the ALCS. They then went on to extinguish their 86 year curse by defeating the Cardinals in the World Series.

What happened next?

Red Sox Nation became insufferable. They had fair weather fans everywhere and they thought themselves as the centre of the baseball universe. Really, they are only eclipsed by Montreal Canadiens’ fans as the most annoying people in sports.

Therefore, I think it will be karma for the city to receive two crushing defeats in the same spring. Then maybe they will shut their yaps about what a great sports city Beantown is.

On the other hand, the Orlando Magic have Vince Carter and we all know how he plays in Game 7s.

Steve Nash is the Best

(BOD - Nicole Scherzinger)

After yesterday’s estrogen-riddled podcast, today’s entry will focus purely on sports in an attempt to hang on to the remaining shards of my masculinity.

(Sure, I could talk about the final performance night of the ninth season of American Idol, but I usually like to do that only when there is ample opportunity to mock. Truthfully, I thought all of the performances were excellent last night. That would make for a more boring column than usual.

My only regret is, after listening to Lee’s rendition of ‘The Boxer’ by Simon and Garfunkel, that I didn’t pick a copy of Simon and Garfunkel’s Greatest Hits last weekend when I had the chance. That’s not a joke, I love their music)

Steve Nash led his Phoenix Suns to their second consecutive victory over the Los Angeles Lakers last night, evening their series at two games a piece. After the Lakers beat the Suns handily in Game 1, basketball pundits across the web said it was evidence of the Lakers’ superiority.

I, rightfully, said the victory didn’t mean much; all it signified was that the Lakers used home court to their advantage. Now, the series is down to a best of 3, with the home team winning all four games thus far.

I have run out of superlatives to describe Steve Nash. There’s no point in discussing just how well he is playing this year. If Nash isn’t the top point guard in the NBA, then he is 1A next to Rajon Rondo’s 1B. What is most fascinating about Steve Nash are the mitigating factors surrounding his play.

Nash is 36 years old. Point guards are not supposed to play at such a high level in their mid-thirties and he has shown no signs of slowing down. The position requires the speed and quickness of a younger man and Nash has been dominating the spot for more than decade.

I would argue it’s the most physically demanding position in the sport; the work capacity needed to succeed at the point is extraordinary. The fact Nash is able to still play so well is a testament to his fitness and work ethic.

Steve Nash is the toughest player in the NBA by a country mile. It’s not even up for debate. The injuries he has played through this postseason are unparalleled in the annals of professional basketball (except for maybe Willis Reed when he played with a broken leg, but everyone was exponentially tougher in the 70s anyway).

The fact Nash played after getting clocked by an inadvertent Tim Duncan elbow wasn’t the most impressive thing about the sequence, although it would have brought lesser players to their knees.

Can you imagine if Vince Carter got hit by the same elbow? He’d be in a coma right now being read his Last Rites.

No, the most impressive thing is that Nash scored ten plus points and five or so assists with one eye (the eye that hit Duncan’s elbow swelled shut). Do you have any idea how tough it is to do anything with one eye? You have zero depth perception. Try to complete normal tasks for five minutes with one eye covered. It’s impossible. Steve Nash played and dominated in an NBA playoff game with one eye.

Now, in the conference final, Nash had his nose broken. He didn’t miss any time and refused to wear bandages or a face mask. He’s a true warrior.

Admittedly, if Nash played hockey, his actions would be considered ordinary because hockey players are tough as nails, but in the lily-white world of professional basketball Steve Nash is the toughest man on Earth.

It’s actually quite surprising since Nash considers himself to be a soccer player first and they are the biggest pansies in sports. I suppose being Canadian trumps soccer playing ninny.

Nash also has a tremendous wit. I mentioned last week that Phil Jackson accused him of carrying the ball up court. Nash’s response: “The best coach in the league, Gregg Popovich, didn’t have a problem with it.”

Hey-ooooo!

If the Suns can get past the Lakers, I have a feeling Captain Canada will be capturing his first Larry O’Brien trophy in a few weeks time.

Talkin' with Tewks Live: Ali is Back in My Life

(BOD - If you don't know, you may as well just stop reading)

My life once again has meaning as The Bachelorette premiered last night in a fantastically entertaining episode.

I didn't write a running diary because there were way too many guys to keep track of and I need to work with a more manageable number. Plus, I didn't want to waste words on losers who got sent home the first night.

The live recaps will return in earnest next week, complete with CSzem's Vegas odds.

To tide you all over, CSzem and I recorded a podcast this morning on our thoughts on the premiere. Luckily, we both lasted way longer than Shooter. What a stupid move that was. The only way that would have been dumber is if someone nicknamed 'Tiny' went on the show.

"Why do they call you Tiny?"
"I have a small penis."
"What?"
"Can I have my rose now?"

Talkin' with Tewks Live - The Bachelorette

Enjoy.