I write this column with a deep-seated malaise welling up at the bottom of my heart and the acidic taste of bile in my throat (no, I did not just see Gretzpo without a shirt on).The reason for my melancholy is the very real possibility that my idol, Roy Halladay, will be traded by the MLB trade deadline next Friday (if that happens, I will not be writing a column next week; instead I will attempt to cheer myself up with a healthy selection of Youporn videos).
Tonight, Doc Halladay goes up against the Tampa Bay Rays in what could be his last start in a Blue Jays uniform. I hope Rogers Centre is packed to the hilt with 40,000 strong clamouring to pay tribute to the greatest pitcher in franchise history (and that’s not even up for debate; Dave Steib is a distant second).
The entire trade situation has been handled worse than a hot potato at a birthday party for epileptic kids. 100% of the blame should be placed squarely on the shoulders of Toronto’s smarmy general manager, JP “Falcon Nose” Ricciardi. He has used misdirection and flat out lies to convince the Rogers conglomerate and the Jays’ fan base that he is committed to bringing a third championship to Canada’s team.
Now, Ricciardi has done a great job in stockpiling young arms and the Jays have an abundance of talent in their farm system, but we’re on, what, year 8 of his supposed five year plan to make the team a contender?
Even Stalin didn’t take this long to transform Russian socioeconomics and do, uh, some other stuff.
Before this season even got underway, Ricciardi had the audacity to say that 2009 would be a “transition” year because of the season ending injuries to Shawn Marcum and Dustin McGowan, and 2010 would be Toronto’s ‘year.’
I have a question: how the fuck are we supposed to contend for a World Series by trading arguably the best pitcher in baseball? Call me crazy, but if pitching and defense wins championships, then having Doc on the staff might be a prerequisite for a deep playoff run.
Unfortunately, because Ricciardi has the Toronto media in his back pocket (I don’t think I’d be able to recognize Mike Wilner without his finger up JP’s butt), there seems to be a lack of outrage among the Jays’ beat writers.
There is an appropriate amount of consternation in the blogosphere, as that is the arena where true fans have a voice and don’t just spend their time grazing at the buffet in the media room while periodically glancing at the play on the field.
If Roy wants a trade, then I say more power to him. He has been nothing short of amazing during his 10 or so years with the Jays’ organization. Halladay is a consummate professional, a warrior on the mound and has been a terrific ambassador for city of Toronto.
He has taken the ball every five days, pitched in front of shit teams, mediocre teams and decent teams without ever once complaining about a lack of run support. The guy throws over 200 innings a year and has been invaluable in showing Jays’ prospects how to properly prepare for a start and hone their craft.
He is the only active major leaguer with at least 100 career wins and zero playoff appearances. That’s not fair. A talent like Doc deserves to pitch in October.
Furthermore, Roy deserves nothing but adulation and respect from the city of Toronto. If, in fact, this is his last start, the cheers should ring long and loud, deep into the night. And, when Roy returns with his new team, I will be at the game and be the first one to give Doc a standing ovation for the years of greatness he provided the Blue Jays organization. And I hope every other fan in attendance will do the same.
In fact, if I hear one boo mixed in among the multitude of cheers, I will personally find that person and beat the living shit out of him (well not me, but one of my friends who is, you know, not a pussy).
Back to Falcon Nose: he wants to trade Vernon Wells. I, for one, think this is great idea but unfortunately there is only one general manager dumb enough to pay Wells $20 million a year. Oops.
Also, there are rumblings that he’s shopping Scotty Rolen around as well. If that happens, I am done with this team until Ricciardi’s reign of terror is over. How can you trade a player like Scott Rolen? He’s the heart and soul of that clubhouse. Gretzpo and I are such big fans of Rolen that we contemplated heading down to the Rogers Centre, with homemade signs and shirts declaring ourselves ‘Scotty’s Hotties”. Unfortunately, the idea fell through when we realized there is no way to make that seem less gay.
Please do yourself a favour and watch the Jays game tonight. It could be one of your last chances to pitching as an art form. Here’s to you Doc; the greatest pitcher in Blue Jays history.
I’m starting to get a little misty right now. I’ll let Tina Turner express how I feel about Roy. Enjoy.
Tewks is a frequent contributor to Gretzpo’s Sports Blog.
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