(BOD - Random Babe)
I am going away on a Caribbean cruise tomorrow morning for a week in the sun. No columns will be posted by me next week, but "I Dream of Long Bus Rides" will be auto-posting a new column on Wednesday morning (Oh, the magic of the Internet).
CSzem's picks will only appear next week if he and Gretzpo can put their collective heads together and figure out the posting process without my guidance. I wouldn't hold my breath on this one as I wouldn't trust the two of them to screw in a light bulb.
Last Week: 9-7 (*Tewks note: I went 10-6. What a chump.)
Overall: 41-33
Jacksonville (-4) v. Oakland
Amazing that I am laying points with the Jags at this point in the season. They have something like a -43 point differential on the year, which is just insane for a team primed to win their division. Don’t trust the Raiders on the road, though.
Steelers (-9) v. Cincinnati
Just think Pittsburgh is ready to put their foot on the gas after that bloodbath with Baltimore. Potential letdown game, though.
New England (-3) @ Chicago
My first thought on this game was to take Chicago. I typically like taking home dogs, especially when they’re pretty good teams. But then it struck me that this line was extraordinarily low. Aren’t the Pats normally laying 9 or 10 points to people at this point of the season? For some reason, people aren’t yet buying on this team, even though they just beat (arguably) the second best team in football by 42 points.
Cleveland (+1) @ Buffalo
I remember when these two teams played last year, right around this time in the season. Derek Anderson didn’t complete a pass in the first half, and went 2 of 17 for the game. And the Browns won.
NY Giants (-3) @ Minnesota
Hate how many road teams I’m taking, but I still think the Vikings are terrible, and the Giants might be rounding into form with that beatdown they gave Washington last week.
Green Bay (-6.5) @ Detroit
Yikes, another road favourite. This has the makings of a bad week. Green Bay has the tools to stretch this one out late, even if the Lions hang tough early. Could go a lot like the Lions Thanksgiving game with the Pats.
Atlanta (-7.5) @ Carolina
More than a touchdown, on the road, in the division, is tough. But true #1 seeds destroy the worst team in football.
Washington (+1) v. Tampa
Finally, that’s more like a pick I normally would make. Small home dog, with a bad road team coming in. Tampa’s had a nice run, but I don’t’ think they’ve got the chops (yet) to win a cold weather December road game with their playoff hopes on the line.
New Orleans (-9) v. St. Louis
One of these teams is currently leading their division. The other is going to win by double-digits.
Seattle (+5.5) @ San Francisco
Can someone tell me how the Niners are laying 5.5 points to an NFL team?
NY Jets (-5) v. Miami
If the Jets have any pride whatsoever, they make the Dolphins pay for that Monday-night debacle.
Arizona (+4) v. Denver
Wow, Vegas is REALLY buying into that whole “new coach lights a fire under the team thing”. Only possible way to explain Denver laying more than a FG on the road.
Dallas (+3.5) v. Philadelphia
I think the Cowboys are going to win this game outright, and if you call me a homer…..well, you’d be right.
Baltimore (-3) @ Houston
A tough, well-coached team, with playoff experience, coming off a tough loss, and needing a win….against a soft, poorly-coached team, with no playoff experience, that’s already virtually eliminated from the playoffs, and is counting down the days until they get their new coach.
(BOD - The World's Hottest Spinster)
Gretzpo was forced to pinch hit in tonight's podcast as it's evident Mother Nature does not want CSzem to step near a microphone at any point in the near future. Keep in mind this is Gretzpo's first podcast, mixed with the fact we recorded it around 11pm last night.
At times, I think we both forget we were actually recording which made for some interesting comments and tangents throughout the conversation.
Some highlights:
- Jayson Werth's cowardice
- Cliff Lee
- Spitting on Cliff Lee's wife
- CSzem and his lack of Crossfit
- OSzem
- Brett Lawrie
- I Dream of Long Bus Rides
- Shaun Marcum
- Carl Crawford
- Derek Jeter
- Is Greztpo this generation's Lou Gehrig (without the debilitating disease)?
- Rogers/MLSE merger
- An all male threesome
Talkin' with Tewks Live - Winter Meetings
Enjoy.
(BOD - Courtney Cox)
I should have seen this coming. Under the guise of "having to go to work early" CSzem has once again shirked his podcast duties, depriving you all the chance to hear my syrupy smooth baritone.
After what transpired over the weekend, I should have included one last bet late last night: CSzem skips podcast (+1,000,000) and I still would have taken the over. But look at it from his perspective. Here is a man who prides himself on his gambling prowess and his ability to blow his son's future college tuition on props, teasers and parlays.
He studies this stuff. Lives and breathes sports gambling. So what happens when one of his jerk friends (yours truly) comes along and, after being taught the finer points of sports betting only two weeks earlier, proceeds to beat the Gambling Guru at his own game?
Yes, it's true. In our first ever betting smackdown I went 10-5 over the weekend, while the author of CSzem's Corner (does this mean I have to start writing that column too?) only went a paltry 9-6. How does he handle that emotionally? No wonder he ran off with his tail between his legs this morning.
(FYI: he just sent me a profanity-laced text blaming the snow on today's absence. Aww, baby want his bottle? You live in Canada. Sack up, sweetheart.)
Full disclosure: I am so go green at this gambling thing that on more than one occasion while I made my picks, I was forced to consult our gambling podcast because I forgot what the pluses and minuses meant next to the team names. This is who you lost to, CSzem. For shame.
I also had no idea there was a game on Thursday night until approximately thirty minutes before tipoff. Or is it kickoff? I always get my sports confused. I'm like the Rain Man of football gambling.
I can't wait for CSzem's long-winded diatribe on his excuses for his loss this weekend. It should be exciting to see him try to grasp at straws and make excuses for why he's pathetic.
The main topic of today's podcast was supposed to be Major League Baseball's winter meetings and I'm hoping we can record that on Thursday. Of course if Cszem's little footsies aren't too cold from the big, bad snow.
I don't want to blow my winter meeting thoughts here, but I do want to say one thing about what took place over the weekend. Jayson Werth evidently does not like to play baseball in October, nor does he want to compete for championships. Why in the hell would he sign with the Washington Nationals?
While I suppose $100 million is more than enough reason to do so, I can't belive any organization would be stupid enough to actually give Werth that kind of money. Not only that, but then the Jays decide to trade their number one starter for a kid. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.
Tune in Thursday for more winter meeting thoughts.
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