Today’s column topic comes courtesy of my cohort, CSzem. Apparently, his tears have dried over the Cowboys apathetic performance Sunday night and he has thrown himself back into news rushing across the sports landscape.
I’m not sure why he didn’t just write the column himself if he was so passionate about Eric Tillman miraculously acquiring another managerial job in the Canadian Football League. I can only assume that he realized his writing ability pales in comparison to mine and he wanted this discussion to be started by one of my extraordinarily written masterpieces.
I’m not terribly enthused about this topic because it forced me to do some cursory research on a league I don’t give two shits about. I’d rather watch the WNBA than a CFL game, but I digress.
Back in January, Eric Tillman was charged with the sexual assault of his 16 year old babysitter. I spent a few paragraphs giving my thoughts on the subject and then I put the issue to bed. Here’s what I said at the time:
Apparently, Tillman went up behind the girl, put his fingers through the belt loops on her hips and pulled her towards him. And then . . .
That’s it.
What? How is that sexual assault? Yes, what he did was creepy and wrong, but there is no way that should be considered sexual assault, which is a serious crime.
If grabbing a girl’s hips is sexual assault, then I have to go consult with an attorney after I’m done here. I might be in a little bit of trouble. Has anyone in the Saskatchewan judicial system ever been to a bar on a Saturday night?
Eric Tillman: guilty of being a creep, yes; guilty of sexual assault, not a chance.
I still stand by my previous comments. Yes, what Tillman did was categorically wrong and I’d want to beat the shit out of him if I was the girl’s father, but I hardly consider that a crime. And before some readers condemn me for being an incorrigible prick, the courts agreed with me. Tillman doesn’t have a criminal record and he was absolutely discharged from the crime.
That being said, I have no bloody clue why the Edmonton Eskimos would be willing to hire Tillman in such a public position. The negative publicity that will stem from this hire will be legendary in Western Canada. For some reason, most Canadians don’t think men in their 40s should grope young girls.
I know, I think it’s ridiculous too.
I’m sure that Tillman has a fantastic football mind, evidenced by his three Grey Cup Championships as a general manager, but why in holy hell would Edmonton put him as the face of the front office.
Bury him in the scouting department and let him run the team behind the scenes like a puppeteer pulling a marionette’s strings. Don’t let him be a visible entity of your team.
Apparently, the Eskimos are a terrible team which isn’t surprising considering they couldn’t pass a media 101 class. Why would anyone expect they could play football too?
I have an idea for Edmonton’s next genius move: maybe bring in OJ Simpson to be the offensive coordinator. It would probably take some heat off of the Tillman hiring.
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