Weekly Banter - ... Short Week

BOD - Sue Ellen Mischke

Short week with the Family Day holiday meant less time for mine and CSzem's workday drivel. Well... I guess not all of it is drivel... only some parts... what parts? ... The drivel parts. I can't say that word and not think of that classic Seinfeld dialogue between Alton Benes and George Costanza. On to the banter...

Gretzpo:

Email banter this week?

I'm not sure how much more I can talk about inflating Jose Bautista's, Travis Snider's and Brandon Morrow's 2011 projections.

Going to the Raps v. Bulls game tonight at the ACC ... although I'm confident only one of those teams will show up. **Note in complete hindsight: they won!

I haven't even watched a Raps game on TV in years ... I think the last game I went to in person was with Tewks against the Atlanta Hawks... I met Jack Armstrong...

"Hey! Jaaack Ahmstrhong!!!"
"Hey! How you doin'?"
(Silence)

I really fucked that interaction up ... I really wasn't expecting the level of sincerity in his voice... he may have actually cared how I was doing... and that surprised me...

A short list of celebrities I've met:

Jarome Iginla (as classy as you'd expect)

Marc Savard

Mike Vernon (a bit stand off-ish ... granted, he did just blow a 3 goal lead in the third period, so maybe give him the benefit of the doubt...)

Lanny MacDonald (what a fantastic moustache...)

John MacDonald's wife (Laura? ... You were there... you should remember... we exchanged pleasantries and canned goods)

JP Ricciardi... even if it was a simple "yo" after I yelled out his name when he was walking out of the Rogers Centre

I'm sure there are others...

Are you watching Survivor this season? I tuned in to see the Russell / Rob clash ... but am sticking around to see the implosion of Phillip... that guy's awesome.

CSzem:

I’m saying yes to e-mail banter. And frankly, I think you’ve got a lot of usable material in there. So consider that the first post. Besides, how are we going to gradually seize control from Tewks unless we out produce him in terms of content for the blog? Once upon a time, this was Gretzpo’s Sports Blog. And now that a much more talented (read: cocky) writer has taken it to new heights, it’s time to take it back. (And for the record, I know for a fact that you can talk a great deal more about inflated projections for Jays’ players)

Jack Armstrong absolutely cared how you were doing. Now, if it was Leo Rautins, he might have punched you in the face and taken your wallet (actually Leo Rautins seems like a good guy too).
I thought it was “Laura” when we met Mrs. John McDonald (“We’re really excited about your husband getting more playing time.” “Us too.”), but I think I’ve heard her referenced as “Lara” on some Jays broadcasts. Our entire relationship was built on a lie now. Although, it would allow me to say “Hey Lara, is John McDonald nice in real life?” (It’s either a really good thing, or a really bad thing that literally none of the readers just got that joke….but you did, Gretzpo, and that’s good enough for me)
I can’t believe you forgot that time we ambushed Aaron Hill and Reed Johnson as they were leaving a men’s washroom in Florida. “HEY! You’re Aaron Hill and Reed Johnson!!” Sadly, with Aaron Hill’s severe concussion just a few short months later, he has no recollection of the encounter.

I am totally on board with this season of Survivor. Phillip is absolutely insane, and I couldn’t be happier about it.

This hasn’t been funny enough, we need to take it in a different direction. Talk to me about the disheveled state of the NBA. This is a league where players can totally control where they want to play, and essentially hold their teams (and their fans) hostage. How can Deron Williams look himself in the mirror tomorrow knowing that he basically forced the longest tenured coach in all of sports (Jerry Sloan) to resign, only to (seemingly) orchestrate his own exit just a few short weeks later? And how is it that the “Melo-Drama” took 7 months, and the Williams deal happened in 3 seconds?

Gretzpo:

The inmates are running the asylum.

So, honestly, what are the chances that any NBA player will ever want to play in Toronto, ever? If collusion and selfishness are what's building the "superpowers" of the league, why would anyone spurn LA, New York or Miami to play in Canada, with all of it's difficulties for American players. (Currency, taxation... etc. You know... all that crap Antonio Davis whined about when he played here.)

Although, let's be honest ... our two marquee free agent signings in the organization have been Hedo Turkoglu and Hakeem Olajuwon's corpse. And Anthony Parker from Israel. Let me know if I'm missing anyone.

But can we really blame the athletes?

You've said yourself you were seriously considering colleges in the States ... I went to school in Budapest, and am looking to re-locate to the UK for my job... why would we expect athletes to not look for greener pastures, just like us?

*** to be continued... or something much more exciting could happen and we'll abandon this line of questioning altogether.

State of the Leafs Address

(BOD - Teresa Palmer)

It’s been a couple of months since I’ve discussed the plight of the 2010-2011 Toronto Maple Leafs and, with the team not playing terrible over the past two weeks, I feel it is my duty to impart some reality to the blissfully ignorant members of Blue and White nation who foolishly believe this fortnight of spirited play is going to lead to a playoff berth.


While I have to admit that I’ve been impressed by the stellar play of goaltender James Reimer—a man the team turned to solely because of injuries—and the apparent re-emergence of Phil Kessel from the Witness Protection Program, it’s all a smokescreen for a team playing over their heads for the past 11 games. A fall back to Earth is inevitable.

I love how members of the Toronto media and innumerable fans are all clinging to the maxim of “We’re only six points out of a playoff spot” believing that, if they say it enough, they’ll be able to return home to Kansas by clicking their ruby red slippers.

Yes, six points seem like an attainable mountain to climb IF there was only one team in front of the Leafs for the final playoff spot. However, there are currently three teams between Toronto and the postseason which makes the task three times as difficult. And, let’s be honest, has this team shown anything to make you think they have the gumption and fortitude to make this happen?

Not in these eyes.

For that matter, whatever happened to Brian Burke’s plan to turn this team around into a Stanley Cup contender? Is he still doing that?

When he first climbed aboard the bridge on the Leaf’s ship, he waxed poetic about a long and arduous return to glory (true) and a patient, but complete rebuilding process. Ok, everyone was willing to give Burkie the benefit of the doubt back then.

Then he traded two first round draft picks for Phil Kessel. Hmm, doesn’t the trading of draft picks, especially when you know your team is shit and going to pick high in June, go against the rebuilding mantra? But Burke must know something we don’t, so Leaf fans let this one slide.

After two putrid seasons, Toronto is no better off than before Burke came to town. The team is terrible, but they have no first round draft picks to catalyze a return to respectability.

This year, Burke vowed the team would compete for a playoff spot. He’s showed so much belief in the team that he’s traded Kris Versteeg, Francois Beauchemin and Tomas Kaberle for a collection of draft picks and minor leaguers.

What exactly is Burke trying to do? Rebuild or compete for the playoffs? He has to commit to one or another. This waffling back and forth will just leave the team in further limbo with no end in sight.

What a great time to be a Leafs fan.

Talkin' with Tewks Live - Threesome

(BOD - Lucy Lawless)

CSzem makes his long-awaited return and the three of us manage to figure out how to make a three-way call in a gigantic upset of technology by our limited know-how. Highlights of the menage a trois of sports and pop culture discussion:

- Wild Things
- Matt Damon vs Matt Dillon
- Milos Raonic
- Tennis smack talk
- Is Andy Roddick a douchebag?
- Does Brooklyn Decker withhold sex?
- A myriad of Seinfeld references
- NBA All Star Weekend
- Blake Griffin's history
- Some baseball talk

Talkin' with Tewks Live - Threesome

Enjoy.