(BOD - Jennifer Bini Taylor)
Ok, I’m going to try this again. CSzem and I attempted to have a serious discussion about the League Championship Series in our podcast recorded late Monday night, but we unfortunately got sidetracked by penis (Jesus, I hope that’s the last time I ever have to type that sentence). Brett Favre’s penis to be exact.
Furthermore, I promise that there will be no talk of the sexual exploits of Al Borland anywhere during this column. That being said, we now know that The Rangers will be playing the Yankees in the ALCS thanks to another big game performance by the quiet assassin, Cliff Lee.
Let’s start with the AL as that series kicks off tonight in Texas. Unfortunately for the Rangers, they cannot depend on Cliff Lee alone to deliver them to the promised land of the Fall Classic. He is unavailable to pitch until Game 3 and then again only if the series goes to a Game 7 (Of course, if that happens, the Rangers are all but assured victory with their ace on the hill).
For Texas to win, they will have to lean heavily on CJ Wilson and Colby Lewis, two unproven guys on the postseason stage. However, both of them get to pitch in the cozy confines of Arlington and are able to avoid throwing in the pressure cooker that is Yankee Stadium in October.
I’m not sure I like the decision by Joe Girardi to go to a four man rotation in this series and give AJ Burnett a chance to self-destruct in Game 4. Of course I love it from the perspective of a man who hates the Yankees, but I think you have to give the big fella, CC Sabbathia, a chance to go on three day’s rest (he did it last year and that worked out pretty well).
I still maintain that the Yankees lineup is too old and they’re going to fall apart playing this deep into the season. The Rangers are younger and hungrier and they have the intangible in Nolan Ryan’s sage experience and fighting ability. I smell a World Series berth for Texas.
Prediction: Rangers in 7
The ALCS is just an appetizer for the main course that is the NLCS. This is going to be a fantastic series, dominated by pitching (I just made myself hard). And the action will kick off with a bang on Saturday night with Doc going against Timmy Lincecum. There is the potential for those two to face off three times in seven games (since they’re actual men and can throw on three day’s rest).
I would hate to be in the batting lineup of either team. The prospect of facing these respective rotations would keep me up at night. Even when you get past Halladay and Lincecum, the rest of the pitchers have filthy stuff as well. If an average is above the Mendoza line in this series, it might be cause for celebration.
I’m going to take this opportunity to share with you all some of CSzem’s idiocy. Earlier this week, he sent me the following text (no, it was not a picture of a small penis): ‘If I was San Fran, I’d throw Cain in Game 1. Doc’s probably winning regardless of the opponent and then Lincecum gives them a way better chance.”
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the perfect example of a man who spends way too much time playing fantasy sports and not enough time playing real sports. Yes, if you go by the numbers only, it may make sense—on paper— to bump Lincecum to Game 2.
However, sports are not won and lost on paper. Do you know what message the Giants coaching staff would be sending to Timmy and the rest of the team if they moved Lincecum away from Halladay?
You’re basically telling your best pitcher that he’s not good enough to beat their best guy. What is that going to do for Lincecum’s self-confidence? The rest of the team will think you’re giving up the first game. Then, the Phillies will feel emboldened because they will smell the fear emanating from the Bay area.
I hate to say it, but the credibility lost by CSzem in that comment may ultimately jeopardize his co-host spot on the podcast. Maybe he should spend a little more time, you know, playing actual sports instead of just betting on them.
There’s no stat for heart, big guy.
Of course, what can we expect from a ‘man’ who retires from tennis matches? Let’s all just hope Mrs. Cszem is in charge of the young one’s athletic career.
Prediction: Phillies in 6
(BOD - Elisha Cuthbert)
At Dwight’s prodding in yesterday’s comments section, I decided to watch my first hockey game of the fledgling 2010-11 season. Now, I know that I’ve said, on more than one occasion, that I avoid the Maple Laughs at all cost and I have zero interest in the team and last night was no different. I watched purely for the opportunity to watch Sid the Kid work some magic.
(He is still the youngest denizen on my mancrush list, although Justin Bieber is threatening that mantle. I think I have the Bieber Fever. Or I just find it hard to reconcile that fact he’s probably gotten more ass at 17 then I have in my entire life).
I know everyone in the GTA is making a huge deal out of this 3-0 start, but I literally have heard people say, with a straight face, that this could be the Leafs year. And that is why I hate this team and their supporters so much. Yes, it’s great the team has won three games this quickly when it took them until American Thanksgiving or something last year.
Unfortunately, a closer look at the team’s wins shows me that it’s not so much the Leafs are playing well, it’s their opponents are playing like shit. They beat Montreal on Opening Day; ok, that was a good one. They beat a tired Ottawa team playing the second game of a back to back and a Penguins team who can’t beat anyone right now.
Yes, the Leafs played with a lot of jump and intensity last night which was great to see after watching too many games over the past few years where players would just skate in large circles around the ice without a sense of urgency.
Pierre McGuire was hard last night talking about the Leafs newfound depth and how the team can roll four lines into the game and you couldn’t discern the difference between the top line and the bottom line. How is that a good thing? Burke always talks about a top 6, bottom 6 and now the team is lauded for having a middle 12?
I’m sorry, but if you’re depending on guys like Colton Orr and Clarke McArthur to do your scoring for you, then you’re in big trouble. The supposed top line of Kessel, Bozak and Versteeg was invisible last night.
I am not sold on this team. Everyone just needs to calm down. Less than five percent of season has been played. I’ll revisit the Leafs around Remembrance Day and we’ll see how the boys in blue are doing at that point.
One odd rules quirk that I love about hockey, and took place last night, is the additional two minute penalty for drawing blood on a stick infraction. I know I bash the sport fairly often, but there are literally no tougher athletes than hockey players. In what other sport are you legally allowed to draw blood and the only punishment is an extra two minutes in the penalty box. Not only that, but players high-sticked in the face actually hope they’re bleeding to garner a longer man advantage for their team.
Athletes in other sports take weeks off with hangnails and turf toe, whereas hockey players get dental work on the bench, stitches are badges of honour, and playing with broken ribs and bones is expected as long as you can perform your duty on the ice.
(And all that requisite toughness is why I no longer play the game; my face is much too pretty to risk disfigurement playing with such cretins).
(BOD - Kate Mara)
Cliff Lee produced an ever more dominating performance last night than he did in Game 1 and this time, luckily, his outing would not be overshadowed by a Roy Halladay no-hitter. After a somewhat shaky start and struggles with his command, Lee settled down to unfurl the following stat line: 9IP, 6H, 0BB, 1ER and 11K.
(I should make a caveat for describing Lee’s ‘control’ problems. Most pitchers struggling with command, Tewks included, have trouble throwing strikes when that happens and pitches are all over the place. I usually send a few pitches to the backstop to make things interesting for my catcher. Cliff Lee’s control issues means that he’s throwing pitches over the middle of the plate instead of on the corners. He doesn’t know how to throw balls).
I could go on and on about Cliff Lee and my burgeoning mancrush, but I actually want to juxtapose both starting pitchers last night and describe, from a pitcher’s perspective, what I see from both guys.
Since both Cliff Lee and David Price are left-handed, it makes the comparison much more apt. I’ve watched David Price throw two starts in the past week and I must say that I’m not exactly impressed by his ability as a pitcher.
Yes, he can throw unbelievably hard and the ball just seems to explode out of his hand, but I’m not seeing much else. A significant number of fastballs drifted high and outside to right-handed batters and it seemed like Price had trouble staying on top of the ball.
Plus, his breaking stuff was pretty much non-existent or, at least, not consistent enough to make the Rangers hitters look for anything other than a fastball. Now, I’m not saying it’s easy to just sit on a 97 mile an hour fastball with life (I have trouble sitting on batting practice pitches), but great hitters will eventually be able to time it when they don’t have to worry about breaking stuff being thrown for strikes.
To me, Price is a thrower not a pitcher. However, it just so happens that he throws hard enough that he can still be successful. For now. And evidently, not when it counts.
In the early innings last night, Lee just pumped fastballs and cutters at the Rays with mixed success. It wasn’t until he began mixing in his terrific curveball that he really began dominating Tampa Bay. You could see it in the Rays swings; once they knew Lee could throw the curveball for strikes, they could not longer look for the hard stuff and they started swinging and missing on fastballs because the curve was in the back of their minds.
Unfortunately, I’m a little concerned about the Rangers in their series against the Yankees when it became clear that Lee won’t be able to start until Game 3 of the ALCS. That means he’ll at most only be able to throw twice in the series and that’s if the Rangers can force it to a sixth or seventh game.
No more baseball until the weekend. What the hell am I supposed to write about now?
(BOD - Jenn Sterger)
This was the first edition of Talkin' with Tewks Live that took place after dark and I think it showed. A meandering conversation about Brett Favre's penis and the hoopla currently surrounding the appendange kicks things off and the podcast just spirals out of control from there.
We do get around to recapping the divisional series and discussing the championship series' matchups as well. However, we also compare the podcast to Tool Time and try to figure out which one of us is Tim and which one is Al. Also, whether or not Al ever managed to have sex with Heidi.
Talkin' with Tewks Live - Brett Favre's Penis and LCS Preview
Enjoy.
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