I can’t believe we’re here already. In just two, short hours, we will find out what fame-seeking whore who doesn’t deserve to win a game of bingo will be rewarded with a $250,000 cash prize for living in a mansion and having sex with a plethora of beautiful people.
I love America.
8:02 – “I’m really falling hard for Dave.” Really, Natalie? You’ve already admitted to fooling around with Jesse B and Kovacs at some point in the past. Are you falling hard for Dave or just serving the next customer in line like you’re a New York style delicatessen?
8:09 – Did Elizabeth just threaten Kovacs if he checks out their female dance instructor? What the hell is wrong with her? She is the poster child for needy, psycho, bitchy women.
8:11 – Finally Kovacs is showing some balls. That’s right, my man, you ogle that fine European ass.
8:12 – Hey, this Louis guy is dancing with my man! Hands off, dandy boy!
8:12 – I guarantee Kovacs has a raging erection during this scene and, honestly, who can blame him. That broad’s ass is unreal; like it was sculpted by Michelangelo himself.
8:14 – “Let’s just get to the point and get it over with.” That perfectly encapsulates my philosophy on sex.
8:15 – Newsflash, Elizabeth! You are nowhere near as hot as Edyta. That’s like comparing prime rib to a pile of dog shit.
8:21 – How much does Dave’s outfit cost and how I do get my hands on one?
8:22 – Kitptyn looks like a five year old ring bearer. Who dressed him?
8:24 – Dear God, I can’t believe Trista used to be considered ‘hot’ by reality TV terms. We’ve come a long way.
8:26 – Am I gay for watching this? Don’t answer that.
8:27 – I have no idea what I’m watching, but I’m pretty sure Kovacs and Elizabeth are terrible.
8:28 – Just got a text message from Cousin Tewks: “I think you and I dancing together would do better than Elizabeth and Kovacs.” Unfortunately, he’s not wrong.
8:33 – Are David and Natalie at a rave? I feel like I’m watching a Miami Sound Machine music video.
8:36 – Tenley is a fucking moron. I hate myself for being attracted to her.
8:45 – Haha, Dave just basically broke up with Natalie. “It’s too bad we live in different cities . . .” Yeah, I’m sure Dave is broken up about it. Now he just has thousands of women and one man who writes a blog vying for his affections. I’m sure he’ll be fine.
8:52 – What a great moment. Dave gets to stay and Elizabeth and her shitty hair have to go home. Plus, Kovacs is now a free man. Run, brother. Run!!
9:04 – Kovacs got rid of Elizabeth!! Atta boy!! Finally, he’s thinking clearly. Now, he’s out there swinging, bee-bopping and scatting all over the place.
9:09 – Why does Dave have a shirt on? This is bullshit.
9:17 – All of these broads ripping Dave apart are just jealous that he won’t sleep with them. Move on, ladies. Its ok, Dave, I have the same problem.
9:20 – The look on Craig’s face when Michelle said they allegedly hooked up was fantastic. Just pure, unadulterated arrogance. He, Dave, and I really need to go out drinking together.
9:27 – This is such a blatant ripoff of Survivor that I don’t even want to comment on this ‘final tribal council’ bullshit.
9:31 – Is Tenley really talking about her divorce again? And how she most likely got a mortgage for a house she couldn’t afford and then lost it? So, everyone should reward her financial stupidity? I hate her so much.
9:42 – The three man bro hug between Dave, Wes, and Kovacs was the most exciting moment of the season for me.
9:48 – This is a pretty cool little twist they have to divvy up the money. I’m legitimately excited to see what they pick.
9:54 – Nice fakeout by Natalie! She had me going there. Those are some pretty sweet acting chops, I must admit.
9:59 – They say love don’t come easy………….Go fuck yourself Wes.
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