CSzem isn’t the only who can force himself into the good graces of the women in his life by a well-timed Mother’s day shout-out. I’m actually going to take things up a notch with my plans for this glorious Tuesday morning.
In approximately thirty minutes, I will be stepping onto a bus with Mama and Grandma Tewks destined for Casino Rama with fifty senior citizens born during the Depression. I literally have no idea what to expect. I’m setting the over/under at marriage proposals for eligible granddaughters at seven.
Not only do I get a full afternoon of gambling, but I also get a free buffet lunch. Are you kidding me? That’s amazing. I cannot wait till I get old. It will be a very smooth transition for me.
Thus, since the bus leaves so early this morning, today’s column will be an abridged version of my usual fare. Not wanting to leave my dear readers in a lurch, I made some quick notes on Game 6 of the Penguins/Canadiens series last night to satiate your appetites for my stellar writing.
The Canadiens leapt out to a 1-0 and what happened thirty seconds later? He Who Hits Bombs sent me the following text: ‘Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole!!!!!!!’ What a jackass. I’m being haunted by the fans of this overrated franchise everywhere I go.
All the talk about Montreal having the most knowledgeable fan base in the game makes me sick to my stomach. Not only do they use that stupid soccer chant, but I heard the crowd start a ‘De-Fence! De-Fence!’ during Pittsburgh’s first power play. What is wrong with these people? That’s a basketball cheer. This is hockey for Chrissakes.
Bob Cole is just fantastic. Playoff hockey is great to watch, but having Cole announce the games is like pouring maple syrup on a stack of fluffy pancakes. The inflections in his voice when something big is about to happen is just magical. I don’t know what he did over the past couple of years to regain his top form, but he sounds like he could call games into his eighties.
Lapierre’s goal was gorgeous. I have to give credit where credit’s due. He looked like a young Tewks terrorizing house league games fifteen years ago.
The pace in the third period was fantastic. Back and forth action by both teams. Team allegiances aside, the Penguins and Habs have provided great theatre through six games; maybe it’s fitting that Pittsburgh will win Game 7 at home.
(Do you see what I did there?)
I’m off to win some cash. I fully expect to have a comped suite by noon. I might never come back.
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3 comments:
Wow not working for a living is clearly far more lucrative than I ever realized. Trips south, regular trips to the casino, weekends away, going to movies, etc, etc. Talk about a stress free life - doesn’t get any better than that. If you combed your hair to stand up you would be Kramer.
And here the rest of us are schlepping ourselves to work every day earning a paycheque. That includes sis Tewks from what I understand. That has got to lead to some level of resentment. Well I say kudos to her for having enough restraint not to snap one day as she prepares for another day of work and smother you in your sleep.
AG
Quick hits:
1) How can a franchise be overrated when they’ve won nearly double the number of championships of any other team? If anything, I’d argue that (outside of Montreal, of course) the historical significance of the franchise is slightly UNDER-rated. No one speaks about the Canadiens as they speak about the Yankees, which is the only comparable franchise in all of sports.
2) How is “De-Fence” a basketball cheer? Clearly you’ve never been to a football game with myself and Gretzpo. Isn’t it reasonable to chant “De-Fence” at any sport in which the defence is directly engaged with stopping the offence? I mean, I think it would be a dumb cheer at a baseball game, but hockey and basketball have similar flows to the game. In fact, possessions in basketball are often much shorter than a possession in a hockey game – particularly on a PP, as was the case when Habs’ fans introduced this new rallying cry. Admittedly, I’ve never heard it at a hockey game before, but that’s why I liked it even more.
3) Bob Cole is the opposite of fantastic. I don’t know what that word is. I just looked up the antonym and it gave me “awful”. So there we go. Bob Cole is awful. I’m not criticizing his cadence or inflections of his voice. He’s still got a great set of pipes. The problem at this point is his brain, inasmuch as it doesn’t work. For the love of God, can someone please tell him that if the whistle blows for a penalty, the penalty is on the team that just touched the puck…?
4) I leave you all with this nugget: The first ever game played at Mellon Arena in Pittsburgh saw Pittsburgh notch 1 goal in a losing effort. The winning team? The Montreal Canadiens. We opened the place 43 years ago, and now it’s time to close it tomorrow night.
GO HABS GO!
Tewks, do NOT give me the address of these Szems or I will surely personally deliver a molotov cocktail soon. I can't agree more with your praises of Bob Cole, if you check my Facebook status update of a few weeks ago, you'll see I've always had his back.
Figures that they're Habs fans...
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