Olympic Notebook: Sidney Saves the Day

Let’s all just breathe a collective sigh of relief.

Ah. Ok, there we go. All better?

What a great game by Canada and Switzerland last night. I definitely did not expect such an entertaining contest between the Canucks and the Swiss. It’s rare that Olympic hockey provides great theatre this early in the tournament.

My nerves were frayed throughout the overtime period, which doesn’t bode well for our inevitable gold medal showdown with the Big Red Menace (Russians are still communists, right?).

For all of you Canadian pessimists out there saying that Team Canada stinks and we’re never going to win a medal, I demand that you, to borrow a line from James in last night’s episode of Survivor, keep your mouth shut.

Canada played extremely well last night, but they just ran into a white-hot goalie. The team will be fine. Kid Crosby put the team on his back in the shootout and I guarantee he will not let this country leave the Olympics without a gold medal.

Those of you not willing to take my advice, listen to Phil Esposito.

However, I am slightly concerned with the amount of ice time Chris Pronger has gotten thus far. He looks too old and too slow. He can’t keep up with the speed of the game. Plus, Pronger doesn’t have the temperament to play international hockey as he can’t keep his aggressiveness in check. Basically, he’s like Terry Funk in Road House.

I am in love with women’s alpine skiing and long track speed skating for two reasons: A. I legitimately find that the competitions make compelling television and 2. I am strongly aroused by the athletes.

I don’t know if it’s the tight, Lycra suits or not, but I cannot get enough of these women. The media is fawning over Lindsay Vonn for being a sex symbol (which she is), but I really like her fellow American, Julia Mancuso. She’s a stone cold fox.

I know the speed skaters look androgynous, but check them out after a race when they take their glasses off and let down the hair. They are gorgeous women. It’s like in a porno when the mousy librarian takes off her glasses and unties her hair. It’s always the women you least expect who are the hottest.

I’ve been brainstorming the last five minutes to come up with a funny sex joke involving skiing or speed skating, but I’ve got nothing (something involving poles, giant slalom and leg angles?). Post any suggestions to comments.

I will quickly touch on last night’s episode of Survivor (full blown recaps to come once the Olympics are over).

If nothing else, last night proved that Boston Rob is the greatest player in the history of Survivor. He had a huge target on his back right from the start, everyone on his tribe was worried about him and now they can’t stop admitting how great he is. One broad (Courtney?) flat out said they’d be useless without him.

Rob is a puzzle master and he is surprisingly competitive in the physical challenges as well. Plus, he’s the funniest person on the island. The only problem I have with Rob is that he’s fat now. What happened? Although, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was part of his plan. It’s common knowledge that contestants lose a ton of weight throughout the season (and their performance suffers as a result). Rob probably packed on some extra pounds so he’d be at a fighting weight once the tribe members start to dwindle.

Pure genius.

I hate James. Who the hell does he think he is berating Stephenie like that? Obviously, it was just a case of Roid Rage.

How great was it to see Tom and Colby upbraid for James for his immature behaviour. Tom is the best. He needs to take James out to the woodshed and teach him some respect.

My mancrushes on Tom and Colby are at maximum capacity right now.

Have a great weekend.