Monday, February 22, 2010

I'm So Excited . . . I'm So Scared and Podcast News

Much like Jessie Spano in the watershed episode of Saved by the Bell where she overdoses on caffeine pills, I began the Olympic hockey tournament enthused and eager about Canada’s chances for gold. Now, I’m terrified.

What the hell happened last night?

For the past three months, I have really curtailed my alcohol consumption while I train my body for an event that will remain nameless for the next few weeks. Last night, I was forced to break the covenant of the drink.

After the first ten minutes of the game, in which I had heart palpitations every time the US team veered near Canada’s net, I imbibed in some vino rouge. Without it, I would have been unable to calm my nerves enough to watch the entire contest.

Canada outplayed the US in every facet of the game except between the pipes. Ryan Miller stood on his head and stole the game for his country. I don’t know what else Canada could have done besides, you know, put the puck in the net.

I know a lot of Canadians are piling on Marty Brodeur this morning, but he didn’t play that bad. The biggest problem with Marty is that once he found out the trapezoid behind the net isn’t a part of international hockey, he thinks he’s Bobby Orr and wants to handle the puck at all times.

Your job is to stop the puck, Marty, not pass it. Methinks that Bobby Lu will be the goaltender of record on Canada’s increasingly difficult road to gold.

I don’t know what the Canadian coaching staff has to do to get the power play going, but it looks terrible right now. There is way too much standing around and not enough movement. The US penalty killers just had to clog the passing lanes and our power play was completely neutralized.

Maybe Mike Babcock should take Gretz out of his suite, suit him up, and throw him behind the net to deliver some saucers to our supposed big guns. We need to do something quick or we might not even get the chance to play Russia in the quarterfinal (which will be eerily reminiscent of Turin in 2006).

I still have faith in our boys, but the offensive ship has to be righted or Russia will golden shower litres of vodka all over our red and white backsides.

On Saturday afternoon, the lives of Talkin’ with Tewks readers were changed forever. I, along with CSzem, recorded the first ever edition of Talkin’ with Tewks Live. It’s a podcast where we discuss only the most pressing issues facing the world today.

In the inaugural episode, we discussed The Bachelor, Survivor and the Winter Olympics.

There were a few kinks along the way and the audio is a tad light (make sure you have your volume cranked), but we are pleased with the results. The total run time is just over thirty minutes. For those of you not interested in the Full Monty, the podcast breaks down as follows:

0:00 – 14:00 The Bachelor
14:00 – 25:00 Survivor
25:00 – 30:43 The Olympics

Also, notice how the corresponding visual changes depending on the topic of conversation. We are geniuses.

I am planning to record a podcast every weekend to be posted as Monday’s column. Let me know what you think of our first effort. Comments and suggestions are always welcome, as long as they are glowingly positive.


Talkin' With Tewks Live - Feb 20th Podcast from Colin Szemenyei on Vimeo.

4 comments:

Malory said...

Love the podcast. What a treat for us readers to hear your manly voice as you give us your insights into the important issues in today's media.

I almost threw up while writing that.

I missed the question/answer post - having a real job doesn't always allow me the time to think up questions that are simple enough that you can answer with pop culture news and thinly veiled sexual references (although I believe that you can make everything have a sexual reference). However, I must admit that I do enjoy your posts and your podcast, despite already hearing your voice on a day to day basis. It's nice to hear you say something that isn't a slight on my limited dating pool or the caliber of guys that I date.

I have a question that I thought you could answer not in tomorrow's blog, as we both know that that one will be dedicated to The Bachelor, and I wouldn't have it any other way, but perhaps in a blog to come in the near future.

What's it like having such an awesome sister?

(If you could refrain from the generic "I don't know, if I had one I'd tell you", that would be great. It wouldn't say much for your creative ability to go to that answer. Just saying).

Shan said...

Boys - the podcast is hilarious! I got a preview of it yesterday, and wanted to give you both props for it.

I love how CSzem gives a shout out to the pregnant lady who lives in his house!! What a nice guy ;) I also love his hatred for Vienna...she's a man.

But seriously, it was great! I can't wait to hear more as the Bachelor wraps up and we get into Survivor - and perhaps Big Brother this summer??

Rambo said...

Like the podcast, although you have way too much time on your hands.

Bachelor - I agree with CSzem in regards to why most women go on the show. If I was on the show, I would dominate. Pure competition. Top three reasons why women apply for the show:

3: They are truly pathetic (These women think that since the normal male population won’t date them, a hot, rich bachelor would)
2: They are looking for fame and to further their career (The longer you stay on the show, the more “famous” you become. Fame whores)
1: They are competitive and want the challenge (Love won’t sway them from victory)

Survivor – James is an idiot. Period. Don’t try and tell me it’s a genuine reaction. He’s a jerk who is hyped up on his own ego, pushes others around to show dominance, and lashes out to bring others down - all of which further the distance between his own self importance and his cast members. James and his ego need to go (double elimination). Kudos to Tom and Colby for having the balls to say something during Tribal. You’re my man Colby (tears and all).

Full disclosure: I stopped listening after the Survivor recap.

Anonymous said...

Putting the topic of the Podcast aside for a mintue - I thought we were in for a Kramer’esq Merv Griffin take off when you were talking podcast. I didn’t realize it would just be a recording of your voice. I had pictured seeing a video of you sitting in a talk show setting wearing cheesy polyester. Even cutting away to a commercial or two. Promoting what else but yourself of course you’re certainly good at that.

So can we expect something like that down the road? I might even listen to you prattle on about something as foolish as the bachelor with the right comedic visuals.

AG