What is it about baseball players named Rodriguez that gives them unparalleled baseball talent, but the personality of a rock, the intelligence of a ruh-tard, and the social decorum of a malevolent douchebag?
Surprisingly, this column is not about Alex Rodriguez and his, if you really think about it, amazing prowess with Hollywood starlets (oh, he makes tens of millions of dollars a year? That’s why they hop into bed with him? Ok, that’s not bad). Instead, this is a weird story that has come out of the ugly stepsister of New York baseball teams, the Mets, and involves their stud closer, Francisco Rodriguez.
Apparently, after a Mets game last week, Rodriguez’s and other players’ families were relaxing in a designated lounge at Citi Field. At some point, Rodriguez entered the room and began arguing with his fifty-three year old father-in-law. Then the pair went outside into the hallway to continue their discussion. At that point, Rodriguez allegedly pinned his father-in-law against the wall and punched him multiple times in the face and head.
Then Rodriguez took off, only to be coaxed back fifteen minutes later, when he was charged with third degree assault and second degree harassment. Rodriguez has been ordered to stay away from his father-in-law, and his wife, as there are documented instances of previous violence at home.
What kind of twenty-something coward beats up a man who is almost twice his age? Unfortunately, K-Rod has a history of trying to bully and threaten those well outside of his level of athleticism. During his time with the Mets, Rodriguez has had previous altercations with a coach and team official, both middle-aged men long past their physical primes.
Someone should give Rodriguez the memo that his life is not professional boxing and he cannot just choose aging tomato cans to fight in hopes of bettering his record and gaining a title shot.
Last year, K-Rod got into a war of words through with media with Brian Bruney, the Yankees burly relief pitcher. Their feud came to a head during batting practice last summer when they began jawing at each other from across the field. Did Rodriguez run over and try to fight the well over six feet, two hundred pound Bruney? Of course not. He waited until teammates intervened and then went crazy trying to get to Bruney, only to be ‘held back’ by his teammates.
Francisco Rodriguez is the epitome of gutless. And he has just earned himself a spot in Talkin’ with Tewks Hall of Pussies, joining the likes of Chris Bosh and Patrick Kane. Am I worried that Rodriguez will come after me because of my harsh words?
Absolutely not. I am, after all, in my twenties in excellent physical condition. I’m not a woman or an old guy. I have nothing to worry about.
Enjoy the weekend as Tiger hopefully gets his act together in his bid for Glory’s Last Shot.
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