Friday, August 20, 2010

Clemens' Caught with Pants Down; Syringe in Ass

(BOD - Jwoww's Breasts)

Surprising news rippled throughout the sports world yesterday when it was learned that Roger Clemens, one of the greatest power pitchers in Major League history, an alleged proponent of performance-enhancing drugs and a predilection for sleeping with fifteen year old country music stars, was indicted on charges of perjury by a federal grand jury.

I think everyone, including myself, was expecting this governmental axe to fall on Barry Bonds, who has his own perjury trial beginning in March. The news that the Rocket will appear in court first took everyone by surprise.

Let’s recap the case against Clemens:

He had an embarrassing display in front of Congress in 2008 when they questioned him about his alleged steroid and HGH use. He made up words (‘misremembered’), threw everyone he could under the bus (including his wife; when a Congressman asked about a shipment of HGH being delivered to his house, Clemens said it was for his wife to get ready for her Sports Illustrated swimsuit shoot), and tried to get through the meeting with the indignation and arrogance he did on the mound for over 20 years.

We also learned some disturbing things from his former friend and trainer, Brian McNamee. Apparently, McNamee injected the Rocket in the ass (with a needle, not his . . . nevermind) multiple times throughout their professional relationship. Not only that, but McNamee testified that he kept syringes and other used paraphernalia with Clemens’ DNA (I hope just blood) all over it. That is incredibly creepy and more than a little telling of McNamee’s motives. Jesus, Roger, with friends like that, who needs enemies?

Clemens’ frost-tipped head should be shaking in fear right now. There is no legal force in North America that has the resources and dogged investigative prowess of the US government. Also, there is no way they would ever risk embarrassment by losing a case. Thus, the fact they’ve brought these charges against the aging Rocket tells me that a victory for the Feds is a slam dunk.

To think, all of this could have been avoided if Clemens would have just taken the route of Andy Pettitte and Jason Giambi and just admitted his indiscretions when the rumours first came out. Those guys continue to play, with clear a conscious, and fans still cheer their every move.

The most terrifying thing about this saga for me is that one of this blog’s one time guest columnists, Dwight from Scranton, may prove to be the Nostradamus of our time. He wrote this article in March 2008. How eerie is it that he may be one hundred percent correct in a few short months.

What is this world coming to?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You swear an oath to tell the truth and lied then you deserve what you get. If they don’t pursue these cases then taking the oath becomes a farce. Understandably they can’t allow that.

The bigger issue why is this so important to the US gov’t in the first place? Why are they spending time and money having these hearings? Quite frankly who gives a damm if he took steroids or not. Ya fine they are a banned substance in baseball and it’s wrong to do for many reasons, but he wasn’t selling crack on the corner to school kids. If taking steroids is illegal then turn this over police; otherwise, let baseball deal with it. Congress don’t you have other things that are slightly more important to focus on? This is what you were elected to do?

Am I mistaken or aren’t there still huge numbers of troops deployed in places like Iraq and Afghanistan - risking their lives every day? Wasn’t there something in the paper about some kind of economic crisis which has led to millions of people losing their jobs including another 500K in the US last week alone? Not to mention a mind boggling US deficit that is predicted to drive the world in economy into a disastrous depression at some point in the next 20 years. Oh and something about the environment – greenhouse gases, massive oil spills, etc.

Someone took a banned substance in baseball so let us focus Congress’ attention on that. Good to have your priorities in order.