The Fun Police Ruins TV Movies

(BOD - Ashley Judd)

In an odd programming decision, both Canadian major sports networks, TSN and Sportsnet, have decided to run sports movies on various nights throughout the latter half of the summer to fill the inevitable dead air that crops up during the dog days of August.

I’m not sure if it’s the best direction for either network to take but, as a huge fan of sports movie, I’m not going to complain.

On Tuesday night, TSN showed possibly the greatest baseball comedy in cinematic history: Bull Durham. It’s been a few years since I’ve seen the movie in its entirety, but I can still recite chunks of dialogue from memory. I was also curious to see how TSN would deal with the sexual content and rampant cursing.

Boy, was I ever disappointed. Every somewhat offensive word was bleeped out and the sex scenes were cut down to a laughable degree.

Now, I understand that regulations forbid TSN from showing the movie in all its uncensored glory, but why would they decide to broadcast the film in the first place. If questionable behaviour and bad language is integral to the movie’s theme, why bother neutering it? Show a cleaner movie instead.

This happens all the time and it drives me crazy. Usually Canadian stations are pretty liberal when it comes to allowing ‘mature’ content, but the US channels get batshit crazy editing movies for television. For example, Peachtree TV always shows movies like American Pie and other films of that ilk. What’s the point? By the time they’re finished cutting and pasting, the movie’s run time is down to 25 minutes.

The most ridiculous scene on Tuesday was when Crash Davis (Kevin Costner) gets run out of the game for arguing a blown call by the umpire. TSN didn’t even bother to bleep the offending words; instead, it was forty seconds of complete silence. Sure, the language is a little rough, but it perfectly encapsulates the game of baseball and that situation and viewers were denied witnessing that pleasure.

Fear not, dear readers, for here is the scene in question in all of its wonderful glory:


This is the last column until Tuesday. I have the provincial baseball championships this weekend, plus my tennis showdown with CSzem, and it’s a long weekend. On Tuesday, I’ll have a short podcast discussing the match, the baseball, and, of course, my final Bachelorette recap of the season.

Have a great weekend.