Thursday, November 29, 2007

Random Shots...

I've been told to start blogging... as my good buddy Tewks doesn't want to be associated with someone who doesn't update his blog... even though he has no problem associating himself with a life of sloth, gluttony... and pretty much any of the remaining deadly sins.

Has anyone seen that new Canon PowerShot commercial with Maria Sharapova? Wow... I'd roll over for her...

... I don't entirely know what that means... I guess you can interpret that as "roll over and get some sleep after I've had relations with her".

So with the writer's strike dragging on... and my career as a business analyst for a plateauing Canadian retailer... well... plateauing... I'm starting to think of other potential careers... sports or entertainment related:

#1: Reality Show Creator

Why hasn't HBO jumped on the reality show bandwagon yet? I mean... here's a channel that can exploit all of man's vices... and they don't have any unscripted shows? Well... that will all change with mine and Tewk's HBO Reality Show Pitch: "Roman's Empire".

"How about this: we release a dozen nubile, young women into an elaborate labyrinth. If they can escape without being raped by Roman Polanski ... they win $500,000."

"You're both monsters"

"How about this: you plant naked photos of Meadow Soprano somewhere in the building... and we have 30 minutes to find them."

"That's not even a show."

"How about we just get some naked pictures of your secretary?"

"Get out of my office."

#2. General Manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs

It doesn't seem like this job would be too hard. The trick seems to be to do what every philosophy and communications student does when they choose their major: mortgage the future.

#3. Director of Marketing: Apple Computers

"Music is my boyfriend... music is my girlfriend... music is my king size bed... my music... is where... I want you... to touch... "

What the hell does that even mean? We get it... you're passionate about music... who thinks up these things?

My ICommercials would pack huge IPunch. You know those DirecTV commercials where actors reprise famous characters? Charlie Sheen... Shannon Elizabeth... Pamela Anderson...

Mine would be similar: but with only Karate Kid Characters...

"Get him an IPod for Christmas... YEAH!!!!!"

"What's a matter Daniel? Mommy not here to program your IPhone for you?"

And finally... some sort of montage involving a drunk Mr. Miyagi and his user friendly IMac.

Gretzpo

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