Due to some extenuating circumstances—of which I will divulge in next Thursday’s column—this will be the penultimate article of this blog that flows from my pen, or keyboard. I know, I know, it’s shocking and I’m sure some of you are currently going through the five stages of grief. But that’s why I’m giving you a week to digest the news, to let it sink in.
I will save all the mushy musings for next week, but not before I present a challenge to my long time readers. I’m thinking one final mailbag for next week. So ask a question in the comment section of this article and I will answer every one next Thursday. Don’t let me down.
Since this is the final full-fledged column of Talkin’ with Tewks—before I dissolve into a puddle of tears during my emotional reminiscence of the various iterations of this blog next week—I wanted to return to one of my favourite and most passionate pastimes: ripping the Toronto Maple Leafs.
How can I do that when the team hasn’t even played a game in over a month? Very easily.
A couple of years ago, back when Brian Burke was still considered a hockey genius, he leveraged the long term future of the franchise—trading away two high first round draft picks, due to the Leafs’ futility on the ice—to acquire Phil Kessel from the Boston Bruins.
Kessel has been a perfectly serviceable cog in Toronto’s machine, but I would think you’d want something a little more substantial than a cog for two first round picks. One of those picks turned out to be the top player in the 2010 draft: Tyler Seguin.
Seguin, as an 18 year old, made the Bruins out of training camp and enjoyed a rollercoaster ride season typical of a teenager playing in a man’s league. He did show flashes of brilliance, but it’s admittedly hard to get minutes playing for a Cup contender and one that is led by a defensive-minded coach such as Claude Julien.
He was scratched periodically throughout the season and was stapled to the press box to begin the playoffs as Julien did not yet think young Tyler was ready for primetime.
This next part may be difficult to understand as I’m going to attempt to brave the dark waters of a Leafs’ fan’s twisted logic and rationale. Apparently, because Seguin was scratched to begin the playoffs, this means, according to Maple Leaf fans, that Toronto won the trade because Kessel can consistently score 30 goals for a team that can’t make the playoffs.
Nevermind that Seguin isn’t legally allowed to drink in North America or that he’s one of the most talented players on the Bruins—his problem is that he’s weak like a boy and terrible defensively—but moronic Leaf fans will jump to obscene conclusions to make themselves feel better about their shitty franchise.
So those that bleed blue and white were foolishly trying to make themselves feel better about getting fleeced for two draft picks, while their team hit the golf course in April once again, while Seguin languished as a healthy scratch.
Then a funny thing happened. Seguin cracked the lineup for the first time in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Final against the Lightning and scored two points in less than ten minutes of icetime. Surely that was fluke Leaf fans told themselves.
For an encore, Seguin completely dominated the action in Game 2 netting four points in limited ice time, including one of the prettiest blue line to goal line rushes of the season. He scored two goals, added two helpers and put his stamp on the series. All of this at eighteen years of age.
Uh oh. That sound you hear is thousands of Maple Leaf fans furiously trying to dig themselves out of another horrible decision by the front office and talking themselves into the Nazem Kadri era.
“He’s just as good as Seguin!”
No, he’s not.
This trade is going to haunt Toronto for years to come as Seguin’s body develops into one that has chest hair, his comfort level playing in the NHL rises—although four points in an Eastern Conference Final game seems pretty comfortable—and he torments Toronto, making a fool of Phil Kessel every time the Leafs and Bruins face off.
And I will love it. It couldn’t happen to a worse organization.
(Don't forget to post your questions/comments for the mailbag)
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8 comments:
The way I see it, the leafs took a chance on getting a proven goal scorer. Do you think Burke planned on coming in 2nd last? No. If the leafs had the 5th or 6th spot in the draft, we would have won the trade. Obviously that didn't happen and yes, Seguin would look good in a leafs uni, but hey, I still think Burke is doing an awesome job even though he lost that gamble.
What trade you should be talking about (because the Kessel trade is old news) is the Thomas Kaberle trade who isn't doing so hot. The leafs got a first round pick, Joe Colborne (a Boston first rounder, who is still in his first Pro year and had a very good AHL season), and a conditional second round pick. What is the condition you ask? Oh that Boston makes it to the cup final. So as a leaf fan, I am cheering for Boston and when Seguin came out a lite it up, I had a big smile on my face.
Yours truely,
say it ain,t so tewks - no more words of wisdom Dwight
Tewks what can Tiger do to get his game back if anything? is this fall all in his head ? did the skill just leave because he hit tree and took a 9 iron across the noggin fron Erin. Dwight
Given the evidence that has been brought forth – Grand Jury testimony by eye witnesses of doping, confirmed failed drug test by the Swiss lab that did the test, the intervention of the governing body and Lance himself to cover up that test, money donated by Lance to the governing body that is deemed very suspicious, etc., should Lance Armstrong go to jail just as Marion Jones did?
AG
Where did the nickname Tewks come from?
Steve
Gee what will I do with the free time I now have given I won’t be editing and e-mailing you fixes for your blog entries? That’s a lot of time to fill.
In response to your comment at the gym here are more questions:
1) So is finding a team in a different league this year really not just a scheme to keep your parents off your back while you spend yet another summer jacking around avoiding getting a real job? One more summer to laze about, work on your tan and play a little ball.
2) If you were offered a full time job either writing for a real paper (not some local yokel paper) or working on air for a TV station, but had to give up ball to do it would you give up playing this year? Or take a pass and continue to play so that you can prove to yourself that you can play at the professional level – the so called reason you have given for changing teams?
3) What happened to the “Year of Tewks”? At the beginning of last year you made a grand announcement in your blog about it yet failed to mention it again? Not even a year end summary. If you need help remembering where things ended up let me know.
4) You claim that you don’t use the Thesaurus to come up with all the big words you use in your blog, but everyone knows that’s not true. As this is the end of your blog will you finally admit just how much you use it? We all know you do it. You can’t even pronounce most of those words let alone ever use them.
5) You have spouted on many times about how it is understandable and should be accepted that athletes on the road will cheat. Temptation is put in front of them and they will give in. Does girlfriend know your philosophy on this and that you will be playing games on the road this year? Will those stories be part of your articles about life playing for an ILB team?
6) Is it true that the only reason you come home from London every 10 days or so is because you only have enough clothes to last that long and you need your mom to do your laundry?
7) Have you auditioned for Wipeout Canada? If not why not? You submitted an application to the bachelor show so it can’t be because you have standards.
8) So what do you think about the NBA moving a game so that the Oprah show could take over the stadium?
9)) You told us you made bet with your buddy that you would have carnal relations with a celebrity by a certain date. Did you ever pay him the $20 you owe him?
10) And finally given it is your last blog entry will you just admit once and for all how much you love when momma Tewks and I work out at the same time. You claim it to be your worst nightmare, but you enjoy the hell out of it. How do I know - “the lady doth protest too much, me thinks”.
Is that enough questions or do you want more?
AG
1. Top 5 thing you have done on the blog (columns or podcasts)
2. Rank the top 5 hottest women from Reality TV (excluding American Idol, since Carrie Underwood renders the discussion pointless)
CSzem
Tewks,
You are awesome. Congratulations on a great run. You're the best.
Love,
Tewks
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