No Invite to Super Bowl Media Day?

(BOD - Blake Lively)

After reading about all of the questionable journalists in attendance, softball questions asked and complete non-sequiturs having nothing to do with the game of football, I think it is an egregious mistake that Talkin’ with Tewks was unable to secure media credentials for what is the biggest farce in sports media history:

Super Bowl Media Day!

I have no idea how the Tuesday of Super Bowl week came to be the most covered and revered day besides the actual game. Allow me to pull my old man pants up past my waist and shake my fist at damn kids walking on my lawn while I blame the internet for the proliferation and ruination of Media Day.

Back in the good old days, grizzled sportswriters would interview grizzled players solely about the game and then report the information to the masses by way of movable type in newspapers. Then they would all go out together in harmony and chase tail while drinking scotch on the rocks. It was perfect.

Now, with the explosion of television and the internet, Media Day has turned into an arms race of people trying to be funny and witty (and failing), wearing outrageous outfits or asking inappropriate questions in order to get some face time on camera. This is all at the expense of the players forced to sit through such nonsense and answer inane questions like “What is your favourite colour?”

The main attraction at this year’s event was Brooklyn Decker (of Sports Illustrated swimsuit and BOD fame) who worked as a correspondent for Entertainment Tonight and asked celebrity trivia questions to players from both teams because, you know, that has relevance to football. I suppose having Brooklyn Decker ask the questions is the only way they could get away with such idiocy. However, if I was a player I would demand Decker appear in a bikini to show off her best assets (Quiz: it’s not her brain or her on camera presence).

In years past, Ines Sainz was the main attraction. She is a television personality from Mexico who has a penchant for wearing mini-skirts and cleavage-baring tops; obviously she was welcome with open arms to the event so the fat sportswriters could get an erection while stuffing themselves at the trough known as press buffet table.

Sainz was the woman who once begged Tom Brady to marry her when she got a chance to ask a question of the Patriot’s Dreamboat. Hard hitting journalism at its best, eh? Sainz is also the same woman who dressed like a hooker at a New York Jets practice earlier this year and had the audacity to complain the players made catcalls in her direction and objectified her. What did you expect?

The most pressing issue of this year’s Media Day was the showdown between Troy Polamalu of the Steelers and Clay Matthews of the Packers and their hair. I shit you not. The media was in a tizzy over whose hair was better and who had the better hair care regimen. Is this football or America’s Next Top Model?

I think I’m just jealous. Apparently, over 5000 media credentials were given out for the event, which seems to mean that literally anyone with a show, website, blog etc. could ascertain credentials if they’re willing to fork out cash for airfare and hotels.

I think Gretzpo and CSzem and I should pool our money together and hit Media Day as the Talkin’ with Tewks crew next year, run roughshod over all of those dorks, and take back the day for football fans everywhere.

Or, at the very least, sexually harass Brooklyn Decker.