Jeter Can Play Hardball?

(BOD - Olivia Munn)

CSzem’s Turkey Picks: Patriots (-6.5), Cowboys (+3.5), Jets (-9)

I have to apologize to you, dear readers and listeners. For the first time in the history of this blog, a column was not posted when I said it was going to be. I fully expected to get the podcast up and running at some point on Tuesday, but the conversation never actually materialized.

And for that, please direct your ire towards CSzem. However, this is the first podcast for which he has not answered the bell since the inception of Talkin’ with Tewks Live, so I really can’t be too upset.

And I’m sure his fatherly duties preclude him from a lot of things, so the fact he is able to fit the podcasts into his busy and harried schedule is an admirable feat. Also, I can’t be upset at Mrs. CSzem purely for the fact that she is forced to cohabitate with CSzem, while also caring for a young son (which basically means she has two children at home).

Instead, I’m placing the blame squarely on young OSzem’s shoulders. Come on, dude. You’re probably close to six months old by now. Time to grow up and start feeding and bathing yourself, and going to bed on your own. Maybe get a job too. Stop freeloading off your parents.

It’s embarrassing, kid. Have you even started a weightlifting program yet? Give your head a shake. Your move, OSzem. Bring it.

Onto today’s column………….

Derek Jeter and the New York Yankees are currently involved in some hardball, don’t blink negotiations over a new contract for New York’s beloved captain. As of right now, neither team seems willing to budge on their current stance and both parties seem willing to engage in protracted negotiations.

At first glance, you might side with Jeter. He’s been the face of the franchise for fifteen years, has led to the team to five World Series titles and is the best contemporary example of the ridiculous, mythical title of a “True Yankee.” How can New York’s front office not offer Jeter a fair contract so the man can end his career as Yankee?

However, then you find out that the Yankees offered Jeets a three year contract worth $45 million. And Jeter’s management team declined the offer, saying they wanted to test the market.

What?

Paying $15 million a year for a shortstop rushing towards forty, with diminishing skills, is ludicrous. There’s no way in hell Jeter would be able to command that salary in the open market. The Yankees are giving him a gift at 3 years, $45 million. He should just take it and be glad the brothers Steinbrenner have basically built in a ‘thanks for being the face of the franchise’ fee into the contract.

The $15 million salary would make Jeter the highest paid shortstop in the league, which is funny considering he’s not even the best shortstop on the team. This is where all the Jeter supporters get their panties in a twist by pointing out he just won his fifth gold glove and had the highest fielding percentage of his career.

Yes, that’s all well and good, but when he’s not actually fast enough to reach balls hit in his general direction, it’s pretty hard to make errors. Jeter’s lateral movement reminds me of a newborn fawn trying to take its first steps.

Jeter should just thank his lucky stars the Yankees are too scared to ask him to move to another position and are willing to give him all this money. For such a ‘team guy’ and the captain of the franchise, shouldn’t he be willing to take a large pay cut to stay in New York and help his team win?

My guess is Jeter will realize no other team in the league will give him the money he wants, he’ll go back to the Yankees, get his 3000th hit and ride off into sunset to make babies with receding hairlines and egg-shaped heads with Minka Kelly.