Thursday, July 8, 2010

MLB All Star Game: Everybody Plays!

(BOD - Julie Bowen)

Special thanks to AC for his comment on yesterday’s column which played a role in catalyzing today’s entry. Also, since it’s been so damn hot outside here in the GTA, I’ve decided to embrace my inner curmudgeon for the rest of the week.

In my degradation of the Tour de France for having an “everyone wins” policy, I can’t believe that I was going to let Major League Baseball off the hook for the abomination that has become the All Star Game. It’s quite sad and I’m sure old-timers like Joe DiMaggio and Ted Williams are spinning in their graves at what the Midsummer Classic has become.

Back in the middle of the twentieth century, the All Star Game was a tightly contested affair, played for pride and the chance at bragging rights. Players wanted to kill their opponents and show the supremacy of their league.

Now, it’s little more than a corporate schmooze-fest. I don’t even think the players actually want to be there, save for the guys making their first trip to the game. Speaking of the rosters, they have bloated to such an unconscionable degree that the game becomes a glorified exhibition with managers trying to cram everyone into the game with token at-bats and pitching appearances.

A quick perusal of the rosters shows the following: 15 pitchers on the AL roster and 14 pitchers on the NL roster. Are you shitting me? This is a nine inning game. If a guy can’t be a big boy and throw an entire inning by himself, then he doesn’t belong in the All Star Game in the first place.

I understand you don’t want a guy throwing four or five innings these days; since the majority of pitchers are pussies and couldn’t possibly handle that strain at this point in the season. But you’re telling me that you couldn’t get by with nine pitchers on the roster?

Check out the following names: Heath Bell, Matt Capps, Evan Meek, Arthur Rhodes, Brian Wilson, Trevor Cahill, Neftali Feliz, Matt Thornton and Jose Valverde.

Who are these guys? There all are pitchers names to this year’s All Star Game. Now I consider myself to be a pretty knowledgeable baseball fan, but I have never heard of any of these guys. This is a representation of the best in the game? No one outside of their immediate families gives a shit if these guys are in the game or not.

Not only did Major League Baseball make room for these nobodies in the game, but they idiotically have three Toronto Blue Jays, from an under .500 team, on the roster. If that’s the case, then surely everyone who deserves to be in the game is there, right?

Wrong. Joey Votto, currently in the top 5 of every Triple Crown category, is not on the roster. You have 14 pitchers in this game, but can’t make room for one of the best hitters in the game. That’s a fucking travesty.

The only smart thing MLB did was not allow Stephen Strasburg to attend the game, despite the protestations of legions of morons across North America. Yes, Strasburg has pitched well, but I usually like my All Stars to have not pitched in the minor leagues in the current season.

Yes, he has had some dominating performances, but I want to see a larger body of work. If Strasburg is allowed to be on the roster, then, by that logic, you have to invite Dallas Braden, Armando Galarraga, and that guy who threw a no-no with 18 walks.

There’s already enough crap in the game to begin with.

Will I be watching? Of course. The game is on a Tuesday night. American Idol doesn’t start until January.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

despite the protestations of legions – oh come on. Even for you this one is too much.

You have never used that word in a conversation in your life. You are going to wear out the Thesaurus function on that new laptop at this rate. Next time leave the sentence as you really wrote it – despite the protest of legions. You’re not fooling anyone.

CSzem said...

You consider yourself a "pretty knowledgeable baseball fan" and you haven't heard of that list? I hope that was hyperbole, Tewks.

Neftali Feliz? Yeah, who would want to see a 22 year-old phenom who is 2nd in the AL in Saves and touches 103 mph on the Radar Gun...? What a schmuck.

The only names that are surprising to me on that list are Rhodes, Meek and Thornton, because they are set-up men (a role typically ignored by the Mid-Summer Classic). But they're all the very best at what they do in the sport, so what's the problem recognizing their achievements?

No doubt leaving Votto out of the game is a joke, but the guys you have mentioned are all having fantastic seasons.

What is the problem with rewarding ACTUAL PERFORMANCE and introducing some new stars into the game?? Just because you haven't heard of them, doesn't mean they aren't great ballplayers. Should the All-Star game be a veritable "Lifetime Achievement Award" for older players that you've heard of?? Or should it be for guys who are playing well??

They called Ken Griffey to play, but he slept through the call so they invited someone else.