The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All

(BOD - Kelly Preston)

I had a hard time reconciling watching this episode. With The Bachelor, I can maintain a semblance of masculinity by saying I watch to check out the 25 babes vying for one man’s affections. With The Bachelorette, if the titular contestant is smoking hot (e.g. Ali) I can say I’m checking her out as she wades through the dudes. However, in the Men Tell All episode, there are no women in sight for the entire two hours; just guys talking about their feelings.

Nevertheless, Cousin Tewks and I have decided to power through and watch anyway; masculinity be damned.

8:01 – Oh, Ali actually shows up to this gossip session? Now, I can watch it with full immunity.

8:02 – Another clip show? You have to be kidding me. Just cut this baby down to ninety minutes and spare us the replays.

8:04 – Ok, I take that back. The footage of Kasey singing just brought a huge smile to my face.

8:07 – Ali has got some crazy eyes going on when she talks about Frank. I think she legitimately would have picked him had he stayed. And that brings her attractiveness down a few notches on my books.

8:09 – “How do we get tickets to that taping?” – Cousin Tewks. My thoughts exactly.

8:25 – Wow, The Phantom really came to play tonight. Bring Chris N. back next year.

8:26 – That beach shot of Ali captivated our attention to an unknown degree. A tribe of wildebeests could have run through the living room and we wouldn’t have batted an eyelash.

8:29 – Did Harrison just say the testosterone was flowing the first night? He has met these guys before, right?

8:31 – The Weatherman is such a little bitch.

8:32 – Nice move by Harrison with the chirp on Kasey. The guy’s a pro.

8:33 – What’s the over/under on how many women in the audience these guys are going to sleep with after this show wraps? Five? Ten?

8:41 – Is anyone else bored watching this? The recap seems worse than usual.

8:48 – Why are they clapping for Kasey? How can these women be attracted to such ridiculous actions and behaviour?

8:52 – What did Kasey want to do? Guard and protect her what? I didn’t quite catch that.

8:53 – Kasey is literally a moron. I think he’s crazy; he’s officially lost it. He doesn’t realize everyone is laughing at him.

9:02 – I have no idea what the hell Kirk is talking about. This is a terrible episode. This must be what watching The View is like.

9:03 – The broads in the audience are just eating this crap up. Kirk can have an orgy with the entire front row if he wants to.

9:11 – This is stupid to have the Justin bashing session when the guy isn’t even there to defend himself. The looks of disgust on the women in the audience make me laugh.

9:13 - Did Craig R really need to make that soliloquy that he abhors Justin’s behaviour? Don’t worry, Shrek, I’m sure you’ll have the pick of the desperate skanks in the audience.

9:20 – Justin didn’t allow his girlfriend to have a Facebook account? Nothing wrong with that.

9:21 – This is such a convoluted tale by this fame-seeking skank from Oakville. BORRRIIIIINNNGGGG. I don’t buy it.

9:24 – I hate everyone associated with this Men Tell All special. They’re all idiots.

9:29 – Ali, please save me from this lacklustre episode.

9:30 – What kind of moron would cheat on Ali? That’s like turning your back on Jesus.

9:33 – Stop saying that Kasey was stranded on that glacier. I’m fairly certain he didn’t walk back to the States from Iceland.

9:36 – Ok the blooper reel may have redeemed spending the last ninety minutes of my life watching this fiasco. That was funny stuff.

9:45 – Sneak peek of The Bachelor Pad? Don’t mind if I do.

9:53 – I can say the following with unequivocal certainty: The Bachelor Pad looks fantastic.

What did you think? Post thoughts to comments.