Tewks and Kobe: Kings of the Mountain

(BOD - Amy Adams)

Game 7 of the NBA Finals took place last night, with Kobe winning his fifth title and second straight NBA Finals MVP award. I think it’s safe to say, without hyperbole, that he’s the most important person in the history of basketball save for Dr. James Naismith.

Did I watch? No. I had to pitch last and I’m glad I did. I threw a no-hitter, striking out 10 and surrendering only one walk. I walked the second batter of the game and that was the only batter who reached base all night.

To prove I’m not making this up, check this out (scroll down below latest scores). What did I do after my performance? Did I rest on my laurels? Well, I did have two beers in celebration with the boys, but when I got home I went for a mile run, did 20 pullups, 40 pushups and 60 squats. I’m just like Doc Halladay (except, you know, not as good or as rich). There’s always work to be done.

Basically, this preamble means that I entrusted CSzem to cover Game 7, primarily because I wanted to see if he’d actually be able to watch the game without Mrs. CSzem murdering him in the process. Let’s see how it turned out:

Around lunchtime on Thursday (at least I think it was lunchtime and I think it was Thursday...as you can imagine the events of the last few days are a bit of a blur), Tewks asked me to once again "pinch-blog", as baseball would preclude him from giving proper credence to Game 7 of the NBA Finals - an event in which (as an avid sports fan and even more avid gambler) I would no doubt have a keen interest.

Never one to leave a friend in the lurch (or alienate a burgeoning double-digit readership), I agreed despite my unusual circumstances. I did, however, first offer a warning to Tewks regarding the following:

Due to lack of computer access, I'd be sitting in a hospital room writing my entry on my Blackberry. My fatherly duties would - of course - take precedence over the game at some point. And the only TV I have access to is old enough to be my son's father, and is located in a public lounge next to our hospital room, so I may or may not have control of the channel selected (assuming the rabbit ears work and we get any channels at all).

And then I think I clued in on what might have been the point all along. New Dad + Sports Freak + Gambling Addict + Limited Game Access = Entertainment (for others)....let the hilarity ensue.

8:48 - Fastly approaching tip-off, Mother and Baby are resting comfortably. OSzem has shaken off this afternoon's "procedure" (he'll thank me later), and a recent bout of the hiccups, and looks about ready to pack it in for the night. This might just go off without a hitch.

8:51 - So much for that. I don't think Mrs. CSzem ever liked that shirt much anyways.

8:57 - We've now got official clearance from Mrs. CSzem to watch the game. The catch: She wants to sleep, so O-Szem is coming with me to the lounge. Given the fact that I haven't figured out how to hold him with my left arm, and the fact that I am not particularly adept at typing with that hand, this should make for an interesting edit for Tewks before posting.

9:04 - Good start. The game is on and a nice lady gave me a better chair.

9:12 - This is going to be tough. OSzem freaks out when I move my left hand.

9:15 -  Airball by #5 in green. Never would have happened if Kevin Garnett was still alive.

9:25 - That's a crazy face. I think OSzem’s hungry.

9:32 - Not sure who had a better first quarter? The Celtics or OSzem? Let's see if either of them can hold this together for 4 quarters.

9:51 - OSzem's keeping it together. The Celtics? Not so much. Even Jack Nicholson has outscored the Celtics this quarter (that's a lie, neither of them have any points....although Jack managed to escape KG from killing him while diving into the front row. ANYTHING'S POSSIBLLLLLE!!!!!)

9:55 - The Nurse just halted OSzem's momentum. Something about "checking vitals". Doesn't she know this is Game 7?

10:36 - I feel like the game is probably back on. A few years ago, I might not have been mature enough to miss part of this potentially epic/historic game. Good thing I've changed.

10:37 - Oh for Christ's sakes. How much can a one day old eat?!?!? The game is on. Come on! Come oooooooooon!!!! No fair! All the other Dads are watching!

11:00 - We're back!! Wow, did I even miss anything? Did anyone score in the hour I was gone? Is Brian Scalabrine on the floor? What the Hell's going on?

11:13 - "If the Celtic's win, Daddy hits a parlay son. Do you know what that means?" (Aside from being able to afford next week's supply of diapers)

11:30 - This is the biggest shit I've ever seen. Am I talking about my son or the shooting at the start of the fourth quarter???

And that's it. OSzem's first Game 7 in the books. I'd love to call it exciting, but the game sucked for 45 minutes.

I'm off the change a diaper, and then toss and turn on my makeshift bed (i.e. two chairs pushed together) for a few hours.

Congrats to Tewks for somehow not spending 5000 words telling us about his no-hitter.