Gun Toting Wizards Suspended for Season

For the second day in a row, a lengthy suspension has dominated the headlines at Talkin’ with Tewks. NBA Commissioner, David Stern, has suspended both Gilbert Arenas and Javari Crittenton for the rest of the 2009-10 season for bringing firearms into the Verizon Centre locker room.

What’s most intriguing about this story is that the NBA actually has a law in place to punish such actions. Apparently, the Wizards guards became the first players to violate an NBA rule that prohibits firearms on team property.

Does anyone else find it disconcerting that such a rule needs to be instituted in the first place?

I would think that functional members of society would inherently understand that bringing guns into the workplace is probably not a good idea. It’s terrifying to think that the NBA was so concerned about this issue that it needed to be added to a clause in the collective bargaining agreement.

I know the political correct police get up in arms when NBA players are referred to as thugs, but what else do you call people who resort to brandishing guns after a card game dispute?

What planet are these guys living on? They do realize that movies like The Good, the Bad and the Ugly and Tombstone are made up, right? They are supposed to be professionals; professionals don’t act like petulant gang bangers who wave guns in the air to overcompensate for their small penises.

This cowardly display of steel to exert authority and appear menacing is so typical of basketball players in general. They all preen and prance around, acting like the toughest hombres in town (see Bosh, Chris), but what happens when these mincing dandies are faced with an actual confrontation?

They resort to childish slaps and hope that teammates will come “hold them back” from getting into a donnybrook.

Have you seen a basketball fight? It’s pathetic. These supposedly big, tough guys turn into nine year olds girls fighting on the playground. There’s yelling and screaming, probably some crying, and futile attempts at bitch slapping the object of their derision.

There’s a reason why these big ladies need to carry guns around. They can’t settle scores real man style, so they need to hide behind their glocks. You wouldn’t see hockey players waving guns at each other after a locker room dispute. They’d settle it with their fists, shake hands and then go get a beer.

That’s the manly (and Canadian) way. Oddly enough, those terms are not mutually exclusive.