Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Carrie Gives Me Underwood


I may have to hand in my man card after my television viewing choice last night. I eschewed both the Leafs game and Monday Night Football to spend two consecutive hours watching Carrie Underwood: an All Star Holiday Special.

And you know what? I am not embarrassed at all with my choice. I mean, sure I’m questioning my status as a straight male, but I was thoroughly entertained throughout the entire program.

I have been creepily infatuated with Carrie Underwood since she first appeared on American Idol in 2005. Obviously, she’s beautiful but, I must admit, I’m a fan of her music as well. I have more than a couple of her songs downloaded on my computer as we speak (Jesus, I need to go to a hardware store or something).

I knew going into the special that Carrie would be performing a bunch of her biggest hits, which was the impetus for me tuning in, and she did not disappoint. She rocked Cowboy Casanova and Before He Cheats and then slowed it down with the moving Jesus Take the Wheel (she has the right mix of down to earth sweetness, southern charm and badass sexpot to be completely irresistible).

I even found myself enjoying the comedy skits between musical numbers. In the hands of a lesser performer, these scenes would have fallen flat and, truthfully, they were a little corny. However, Carrie’s personality, surprising comedy chops, and willingness to poke fun at herself made the skits cute and endearing.

I really liked the 60s pop medley with Carrie, Christina Applegate and Kristen Chenoweth dressed in pink dresses and beehive hairdos (there’s a sexual fantasy in there somewhere).

Dolly Parton was a special guest and the only thing I have to say about her is: they look great.

Carrie and Dolly sang a magnificent duet of I Will Always Love You which brought tears streaming down my face throughout the performance.

My only problem with the show is that it was referred to as a ‘Holiday’ special and not a Christmas special. Look, we celebrate Christmas here in North America, always have and always will. Let’s stop trying to please everyone by referring to December as the holiday season. Enough of this PC bullcrap. It’s the Christmas season. If you don’t like it, take the train.

Also, I was somewhat disappointed with the dearth of Christmas songs, but Carrie’s rendition of O, Holy Night was terrific. The single spotlight gave Carrie an almost angelic appearance and me a funny feeling downstairs.

For those of you bemoaning the fact this is supposed to be a sports blog, here you go:

Carrie Underwood is dating Mike Fisher of the Ottawa Senators. My jealousy of him knows no bounds. I hope he gets a puck in the face next game.

I love you Carrie.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow where to start. So many insults so little space to post them. A kid in a candy store is the best way to describe how I feel right now.

Do I go the – hey look who just stumbled out of the closet? – route

Or
Something about your not the only one questioning your status..

Or
You would never be caught dead in a hardware store there aren’t enough mirrors..

Or
Perhaps a quip about you checking out my ass at the gym while I was doing squats

What to do what to do

I think I will just leave it at:

I said it before and I say it again you're just a big hairy woman.

Allan

k-star said...

Seriously? You’re quite an intelligent guy, in fact it’s probably your most attractive quality... and then you go and spout narrow minded rubbish like the above.

Why would we stop trying to please everyone, when trying to please them is an option? Isn’t the entire point of this season (regardless of the name) to spread joy and peace to those around you?

Approximately 3 out of 10 Canadians don’t celebrate Christmas; that’s approximately 9 993 416.7 people who don’t fit into your Jesus praising, eggnog drinking bubble.

Celebrate Christmas until you have candy canes and Christmas trees coming out of your ass, but don’t force others to gather under your conservative mistletoe.

Better off on the train than on General Santa’s Sleigh... it’s a bit too crowded for me anyway.

baseballcatcher43 said...

Tewks! Big fan! I have to admit, Carrie gives me Underwood too!