New Format: Scandals and Animals

How great is this new layout and format? I needed to break free from the stifled creativity I felt under the iron-fisted rule of the nefarious Gretzpo. He made Idi Amin look like Mr. Rogers.

Also, doesn’t the new colour scheme look so much cleaner and sharper than the previous incarnation? I talked to one of my more “daintier” male friends and we basically put the site through an episode of Queer Eye for the Blog Guy.

As I’ve mentioned in the title header, I will now be posting new entries every weekday. I’ve shown over the past 12 months that I have mastered the art of writing weekly columns. You give me a central theme and 800-1000 words to stretch my journalistic muscle and I can poop out something more entertaining than 85% of the internet.

Now I’m going to try my hand at shorter, more stream-of-consciousness type pieces chock full of my usual fare of sophomoric humour and sexual ambiguity. Be forewarned daily sports blogs: Tewks is coming for you. I will not rest until I have stolen all of your readers. Or another Gossip Girl marathon comes on.

What do I want to talk about today? Well in an ironic little twist, I want to cover the same topic I tackled in my first weekly column back in late 2007: the greatness of Alex Rodriguez.

Finally A-Rod is reaching his true potential as a clutch hitter with his 2009 playoff performance (even though his playoffs stats have always been comparable with Derek Jeter’s and eerily mimicked Reggie Jackson’s, the media-anointed Mr. October, stats through the first 40 games of their postseason careers).

What has A-Rod done so far this month? Literally put the Yankees on his back and carried the rest of the anemic New York offence (Where have you gone Mark Teixeira? A Nation turns its lonely eyes to you) into the World Series for the first time since 2003. He hit .455 with two jacks against the Twins and .429 with three bombs in the LCS. Plus, Rodriguez was on base FIVE times in the clinching game last night.

Does the Yankee fan base owe his prodigious playoff exploits entirely to his nailing of Kate Hudson? Has a sexual dalliance ever been more profitable for a professional athlete (in terms of on field performance)?

(Full disclosure: I started sleeping with Kate Hudson back in August which is why my book excerpts have been so freaking good thus far)

Therefore how does A-Rod not win the LCS MVP? As a pitcher this may be considered blasphemy for me to say, but CC Sabathia did not deserve to win that award. Sure he threw two gems but the Yankees still won two games in the series while CC sat and devoured the entire clubhouse spread before the seventh inning stretch.

Without question, the Yankees do not win that series without A-Rod. His game tying shot in extra innings in Game 2 changed the entire complexity of the series.

Now if the Angels had forced a Game 7 and Sabathia won THAT game to run his record to 3-0 in the series, then not only would the ALCS MVP trophy deserve to be named after him, but I would start sending CC love letters in the hopes that he would show me how to throw a slider.