Friday, October 30, 2009

AJ Burnett Doesn't Completely Suck

I’ve never been an AJ Burnett fan, even when he was with the Jays, but I have to admit that he threw a great game last night. Sending the Series to Philadelphia tied at one game apiece is monumental for the Yankees’ confidence heading into Game 3.

However, I still think Burnett is a douchebag. It starts with that idiotic piece of rope he has tied around his neck during each start. What the hell is that?


Every time I see it I want to reach through the TV screen and strangle him with it. Also, the pretentious way he celebrates strikeouts, with that cocky little pirouette, makes me want to barf. Have a little class, AJ. You’re a strikeout pitcher—act like you’ve been there before. Take a cue from Bobby Orr: no celebration necessary. After each punchout, just wait to get the ball back from A-Rod and move onto the next guy. No histrionics, no defiant strut.

Let’s see, what else do I hate about Burnett? Oh, I hate that he has the career statistics of a middling talent with average stuff when, in reality, he might have the best repertoire in all of Major League Baseball. His fastball threatens triple digits with late life and his curveball is just filthy; it looks like it falls down an elevator shaft when it crosses the plate.

The reason his career has been so mediocre is that he is a complete head case. Figure it out, AJ. With your talent, you should be in the express lane to 300 wins; instead, you’ll be lucky to get half that once all is said and done.

How about Joe Girardi last night? Obviously he read yesterday’s post as he went straight to Mariano Rivera in the eighth and watched the greatest closer in playoff history lock down a two inning save. See Joe? It’s so much easier to let your players win the game for you, rather than try to prove your baseball IQ to the world.

What’s happened to A-Rod? Six strikeouts in two games? Do we have confirmation that Kate Hudson has been in attendance thus far? I don’t remember seeing her at all the last two games. Maybe she’s off filming another romantic comedy with Matthew McConaughey (one can only hope). Whatever she’s doing, Rodriguez better get her on a plane to Philadelphia pronto if he harbours any desires for a World Series ring this fall.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I agree with your AJ bludgeoning via this extremely prolific media outlet, however, I do have a point of contention. Also i'm not 100% sure I used that right, but I digress...
AJ Burnett is biggest douchebag in all of baseball. Being a baseball player I take no offense to being called an idiot, or bag of meat. I relish in the indignant comments towards my fellow friends of the fescued field (thanks Joe Bowen). At the end of the day I am aware that I can do one thing most other athletes cannot, and that is play baseball. Often contested as being a sport for fat guys and lazy people, baseball players now are some of fittest performers in a team sport. Even if they are fat, theres a reason, take Jonathon Broxton, closer for the dodgers, He's a fuckin large dude.
But he also throws around 100 mph, for strikes and makes all star candidates look like homeless guys swatting away penguins.
Back to AJ,
NOT a baseball player. Yes he has talent, but he has no heart, no brain, and more than likely tiny little dried up raisins for balls.
Until AJ strikes out 15 people a game like he is capable of, he is a waste of skin, and the pinstripes he is paid to wear.
Get hit by a bus AJ,
you're a loser.
Go Phillies.