Tuesday, October 9, 2007

We're Gonna Need a Montage...


So I’m watching the Cleveland Indians destroy the New York Yankees on Monday night … down 2-1 in the series, and down 6-3 in the bottom of the ninth, Bobby Abreu smacks a home run to right field to close the gap to two runs.

And what do I hear?

The home run song from "The Natural".

I was taken aback: was the greatest song in baseball movie history, celebrating the biggest home run in movie history, being used to celebrate a gap closing home run in game 4 of the ALDS?

Apparently it was … but from my shock and awe came a sorely needed idea for a column: the greatest sports movie songs and montages of all time. In no particular order:



Rocky I - "Gonna Fly Now"
The montage that started it all. It’s hard to believe that I was -8 years old when this movie came out: but I feel like I’ve watched it enough for multiple lifetimes.

30 seconds into his run in the apparent shanty town that is Philadelphia, a local vendor throws Rocky an orange: symbolizing the bond between Philadelphia and it’s native son. Judging by the slums he’s running in, I’m surprised he wasn’t thrown a switchblade.


Rocky IV - "No Easy Way Out"
I want this to be my wedding song. When I was younger I used to pay homage to the Rocky series by naming all of the scenes during this song and when they occurred over the course of the franchise. Now I pay homage to this song by not watching the road when I drive, and slamming my car into neutral because I like to pretend I’m switching gears.

Rocky III - The Clubber Montage
I can’t find this montage on YouTube. All I can find is the beach montage where Apollo and Rocky finally declare their man-love for each other …

Rocky III - The Homo-Erotic Montage
"HO HO HO HO! Very nice!"


Damn I love this movie. A very under-the-radar aspect of this film is Paulie’s unabashed racism:
"I don’t like these people"
"He can’t train to this jungle music!"
"You can’t train him like a coloured fighter"

No way Paulie gets away with that in 2006 … the directors had to turn his racism to another target: Native Americans.

Rudy - Spring Training
Ah… "5 foot nothin’, 100 and nothin’" Rudy Ruttiger living his dream on the Notre Dame football field. The highlight of this montage is the scene about 3 minutes in:
After being humiliated during a tackling drill, a defiant Rudy stands up to run the drill again:
"C’mon! Let’s do it again"
"Nah… you had your chance… get out of here"
"No! I can do it!"
"You can do it? Let’s see!"
Which is eerily similar to what was said the night I lost my virginity.


Karate Kid - Ralph Macchio becomes a man
Daniel LaRusso is able to regain the love of Ali Mills with the help of his "bobbing for apples" kissing technique. Think the music during this video is cheesy? I listened to it on my way into work today.


Clip is a bit lengthy... but a great watch.

Karate Kid - "You’re the best: around! Nothing’sgonnaeverkeepyoudown!"
The ultimate montage, in my opinion. Watch as Daniel takes out seemingly more talented opponents using a wide array of martial arts tactics including: side-step and chop to the back of the head, front kick to unguarded midsection, and the devastating "block slow punch/score with even slower punch" combo.


The Natural - The Final Home Run
Did anyone think to test Roy Hobbes for HGH after this mammoth shot?


Let me tell you a little story about baseball: I’m playing for my high school team, the Blue Devils. Not once had we won a game: two on, two out, down by a run … Ellis comes to the plate and hits a go ahead single: you’ve got yourself a legacy going baby!

Yes… my legacy is the fact that I kept my high school baseball team from going 0 and 7 on the year.

Rocky IV - First Training Montage
Isn’t it ridiculous that I have to qualify a movie by saying that it’s the "first" training montage, because there are two montages?

I’m sorry… did I say "ridiculous"? I meant to say "awesome".


A good friend of mine lived out two of the scenes in this movie: he pushed a car out of the snow and jogged off, and dropped his weight after a tricep curl. On the contrary, I once gave myself a hernia chopping wood at my grandparent’s farm.

That wraps it up… my foray into NFL prognostication did not go well: my Week 5 record? 2-9-1. Needless to say … I’m conceding to the coin.

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