Survivor Recap

(BOD - Amber)
Since moving to a one column a week format, I realize it’s been months since I’ve weighed in on my favourite genre of television: Reality (save for a couple of Jersey Shore podcasts). With the news that Bachelor Pad is returning to the airwaves in a scant, few weeks, I figured that will be changing quickly.


Thus, I decided to warm up the fount of reality knowledge soon to be flooding out of my keyboard by recapping last night’s episode of Survivor. I used to be a devoted fan of the show during its single digit seasons, but have only tuned in recently during the All Star formats. This current season has entertained me like no other. So much so that I can’t believe it hasn’t been discussed on the blog thus far. Onto the recap:

The Duel

I really like the addition of Redemption Island, although I think it should have been eliminated once the teams merged. Matt, literally one of the worst Survivor strategists and social players in the game’s history, should have not been allowed to go back to Redemption after Rob hoodwinked him a second time. The poor kid is just way in over his head.

I always enjoy the episode where the family members come to the island. And it’s not because I get emotional at seeing the teary reunions; in fact, it’s the opposite, I’m always looking for the contestants who can remain stoic and mentally tough and not start blubbering because they’ve been on a game show for a month without access to their Blackberries (or Sprint 4G whatever the hell it was).

I also like to see what family member is with whom, so I can immediately make wild and unjust accusations about their personal lives. Mike won the duel, which sent Steve packing, and was faced with a difficult choice: spend time with his mom or allow Boston Rob Enterprises the chance to be with their loved ones.

Mike said he was making a spiritual choice and not a strategic one by giving the reward to Rob and company; he said God wanted him to make that choice. There’s been an awful lot of talk about God on this season, primarily from Thor’s spindly younger brother— I mean Matt. Look, I have no problem with people who are religious, but really Matt? Are you actually that egotistical to think that God gives a shit about some stupid reality television show and your place on it? Matt has stated that “God is keeping me here.” No, he isn’t you little twerp. I would hope He has more important things to worry about.

I know Ralph has specifically stated that he “is not a gay person”, but I couldn’t help but notice that his ‘friend’ was his loved one. Hmmmmmm. Me thinks the rooster doth protest too much.

The Immunity Challenge

This might have been my favourite challenge of all time. It required a big cardiovascular engine, quickness, agility and miles and miles of heart. It looked like one of the toughest cardio challenges the game has even seen. I was thoroughly impressed with Rob’s effort. He completely deserved to win.

However, I could have done without the histrionics at the end of the challenge after he won. Sure, I know he was tired, but we didn’t need minutes of coverage devoted to how much he pushed. Oh, he can’t stand up? He feels woozy and he’s seeing colours at the end of his vision? He’s never felt like this before?

Big deal. That’s my world after every Crossfit workout.

Tribal Council

I loved the blindside of Andrea, but I’m remiss that Rob is not sufficiently challenged on this season. He is on such a different playing field than the rest of his tribe, that it’s embarrassing to witness. The poptarts are completely useless. They literally have no idea how to play the game and are so far under Rob’s thumb that it wouldn’t surprise me that the girls would drink Kool-Aid if he asked them.

Grant is a dominating physical presence and I actually think there may be some method to Phillip’s madness, but the girls are less than useless. I only like having them around because they light a fire in my loins and I love picturing Amber’s reaction when she watches the eps and sees the ladies fawning all over Rob. I would pay to see that footage.

Yes, I still want Rob to win as he deserves it for the masterful way he’s played the game, but I at least would like to see some adversity be thrown his way on the route to the title. Unfortunately, I think that may only come from Redemption Island and those boys will only fight for the title of Sole Survivor if Jesus tells them to do it.