Thursday, January 27, 2011

Schoolyard Pick'em

(BOD - Rachel Hunter)

Quick digression: What I hate about writing columns about topical sports events reared its ugly head this week. I spent last week’s entire article heralding the greatness of Rafael Nadal and his quest for four consecutive Grand Slam championships and what happens? My whole article is rendered moot by a balky left hamstring and some guy named David Ferrer.

The situation has left me a little gun shy today as I planned on waxing poetic about Tiger’s triumphant return and predict a big 2011 from him. His mind is clear, his body is healthy and he appears ready to run roughshod over the world of professional golf and reclaim his title of best player on the planet. Of course, if I actually decided to devote a column to the subject he’d probably miss the cut this week at Torrey Pines.

Onto the column . . .

The NHL All Star Game takes place this weekend in Denver with a new wrinkle devised to inject some life into what has always been somewhat of a boring affair. Instead of dividing teams along geographic lines or according to nationality (which always led to some charming xenophobic rhetoric), the NHL has decided to go back to recess.

Two captains have been chosen and each will alternate picking guys from a pool of All Star players until someone has the unfortunate designation of last player picked. On paper, this sounds like a cool idea, but the league is risking a lot of embarrassment for the players picked near the bottom of the informal draft.

Truthfully, there should be no embarrassment at all, as there are only forty players in the entire league deemed worthy of an All Star spot. Picked last in the All Star selection still means you are better than the majority of the players in the best hockey league in the world. Unfortunately, the general populace will not realize that and the media will jump on the story of the guy picked last by his peers.

It will be interesting to see how the teams will be divided. Will the captains pick based on loyalties, friendships, and rivalries? Or will they purely try to construct the most talented team possible?

Say what you will about the format, but it has done its job and got people talking about the event. There is one aspect of this schoolyard draft that I am in vehement disagreement with. The draft will take place in a one hour televised special. Seriously? I suppose it could be interesting, but it all depends on the charisma and personalities of the captains picking the teams.

Who are the captains? Niklas Lidstrom and Eric Staal.

Oh boy. No offence, but charismatic and personable are not the adjectives that jump into my mind when I think about those two guys. Boring and bland might be better descriptors. How the hell are they going to make an hour of basically a two man fantasy draft compelling television?

You need characters picking these teams. Let Alexander Ovechkin take a crack. You know he would prove truthful reasons as to why he’s picking certain guys. Or bring Jeremy Roenick out of retirement and make him a honouary captain. Better yet, get Sean Avery involved. I would love to see that. He’d interrupt the draft with the following gem at round eight or so:

“Uh, yeah, I just want to comment on how it seems to be a common thing for guys on the other team to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don’t know what that’s about, but enjoy the rest of the draft.”

Nevertheless, congratulations to the National Hockey League for goading me into writing a column about your boring All Star Game.

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