Like a jilted lover who immaturely wishes pain and heartbreak on her ex years after a breakup, I continually take the utmost enjoyment at watching AJ Burnett fail miserably on the mound.
Watching Burnett hightail it out of Toronto when he actually learned how to pitch, or so it seemed at the time, with a nary a concern for the club he was leaving behind was a painful process to go through (especially since I was at his last start as a Jay and joined the crowd in giving him a standing ovation when he was removed from the game).
Last night’s beatdown moved Burnett’s record to 0-3 versus the Jays this year and his overall record to 10-14 on the season. I’m sure Yankee fans are thrilled with the team’s investment in the mercurial righthander.
Burnett personifies a pitcher who, as Crash Davis so eloquently said, possesses “a million dollar arm and a five cent head.” He drives coaches crazy because he has some of the best stuff in the league but the mental makeup and fortitude of a five year old. He should be on a march towards 300 wins with his repertoire of pitches; instead he’s the number four option on New York’s staff.
If I was a Yankee, I would have a huge problem with Burnett’s demeanour on the field. After giving up a three home run to Vernon Wells and a loud double to the wall by Lyle Overbay, Burnett’s face registered zero emotion. Now I wouldn’t want a guy stomping around the field either, but show me that you care about your profession a little bit.
Burnett looked like he was waiting in line at the DMV. Get mad at yourself, put a look of determination on your face, bear down and try to keep your team in the game. Instead, Burnett continued to serve up gopher balls and didn’t make it out of the fourth inning.
What a chump.
The victory was the Jays 81st on the season and guaranteed the team a .500 record for the year. WOW, WHAT AN AMAZING ACCOMPLISHMENT!!!!! PLAN THE PARADE!!!!
(I wonder if CSzem sent a couple of case of champagne to the Jays locker room, so the team could celebrate being average)
The blog has been lacking in pop culture news as of late, so I quickly wanted to comment on the death of Gloria Stuart, who played the old broad in Titanic. Now, I’m comfortable enough in my masculinity to admit that I have a soft spot for the movie. If it’s on, I will usually tune in for a decent amount of time.
My favourite part is when the band stops playing when the ship is going down. The band members say their goodbyes, but one guy stays behind and continues playing. The other guys return and they play one last song, Nearer my God to Thee, together before their deaths. It gets me every time. Watch it here and don’t get choked up. I dare you.
However, I do have two problems with the movie. One, why does Jack let Rose lie on that piece of wood, while he freezes to death (yes, I know they both couldn’t fit on it because of her massive ass)? Why not find something bigger to lay on or your own piece of wood? Or a dead body? Instead, you just gave up your life for a rich skank who nailed you in a car while she was engaged.
Second, when Rose dies at the end of the movie and we see her go to Heaven: why does she end up back on the Titanic with Jack and hundreds of other people she only knew for like three days?
Wasn’t she married to her husband for like 50 years and had a family and a lifetime of memories with him? And he is nowhere to be found when she moves to the afterlife. That is such bullshit. Basically, she’s informing us that she didn’t give a shit about her family or anything else that happened to her in the 80 years since the Titanic went down. She was pining after Jack the entire time.
What a bitch.
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