I didn't plan on writing about Tiger again today, but I don't mind for two reasons: my fantastically shrewd column title and the opportunity to post another picture of Mrs. Woods (truthfully, her prone to violence only makes me more attracted to her. She must be a spitfire in the boudoir).Well, I was correct in two assertions I made in yesterday's column:
1. For the following passage: "This is what I really think happened with Tiger. He probably has stepped out in the past, but there were media rumours of a dalliance with a lady Down Under, so Elin rightfully lost her mind and probably beat the shit out of him."
Lo and behold, out of the woodwork comes other women claiming to have been at the business end of Tiger's flatstick.
2. That my female readers would be upset with me. Their vitriol was especially impressive. It felt like I was attending a taping of The View. Ladies, stop waving your ovaries around like 17th century weapons of mass destruction, and allow me a chance to rebut your comments.
Also, where were my male counterparts coming to my defense? For awhile there, the only guy to make a comment, Allan, wished me bodily harm. Methinks he should spend a little more time working on his weightlifting and a little less time on the internet.
Luckily, I had my boy Dwight from Scranton come to my aid with some positive feedback and regular reader He Who Hits Bombs weigh in on the estrogen fest.
Rambo brought up an interesting hypothetical. If roles were reversed, is it socially acceptable for female professional athletes to take part in the same behaviour? I will answer your question with another question. Is there such thing as a female professional athlete?
Women are attracted to money, fame and power. Men are attracted to looks (broad generalizations yes, but bear with me). I don't know any guy who wants to have sex with Hayley Wickenhesier or some 6'5" mutant from the WNBA.
Bestie, I have to agree with HWHB. When you brought up the "sanctity of marriage", I tuned out. Really? That's what your basing your argument on? Listen up Ann Coulter, leave the religious babble to the talking heads on Fox News.
K-Star pretty much summarized what everyone was trying to say and, for the record, I agree with it: "if you don't want a commitment, don't get married." It's a salient point.
As Marie Antoinette said, you can't have your cake and eat it too.
Look at George Clooney. He has been with hundreds of chicks (undoubtedly a few have overlapped) and women still love the guy. He is living the dream and apparently plans to stay a bachelor for the rest of his life.
I've never understood why so many 21 and 22 year old baseball players get married so young. That's like going to the Mandarin for dinner, seeing different food options as far as the eye can see, and deciding to stick with the sweet and sour chicken balls.
Broaden your horizons, fellas. There's plenty of time to get married and do the family thing once your career's over. Plus, this way you'll avoid getting beat up by your wife at 2:30 in the morning on Thanksgiving.
Good work everyone.
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4 comments:
A few thoughts came to mind as I read today’s entry:
1) Ok sure perhaps my “request” could have had a similar outcome as say poking a bear with a sharp stick. And I will give you that it could have resulted in some sort of physical harm, but lets not lose our focus here - it would have been so bloody much fun for me to watch. Really isn’t that what we should be focused on? BTW I noticed you didn’t do it this morning.
2) Seriously a workout comment? We are back to the bear/stick arena. I actually didn’t think you would be brave enough to go there. I could come back with a list of responses, but as you know I am just too nice a guy to do something like that. For example I would never say something like perhaps my problem is my trainer. You might not believe this, but he spends the majority of the time admiring himself in the mirror rather than helping his student. He also seems to have a problem counting to ten. I guess in his athletic endeavours he has never been able to achieve the level of success that would require him to count that high. Again just waaayyy too nice to say things like that. (Yes I know he is going to torture me mercilessly now)
And
3) Just a clarification - your comment about "if you don't want a commitment, don't get married." means that you are saying it is ok to cheat as long as you are not married? The issue is not about being married or even sex. It is about caring and respect for someone you claim to be committed to. If Tiger really loves his wife he would never have cheated. Period. How can you truly claim to love someone then go ahead and do something that you know will hurt them and completely disrespects them? There is absolutely no excuse for cheating. If you’re horny and on the road take a cold shower. Ladies if he is cheating on you he doesn’t give a dam about you so dump his ass.
Allan
I would like to comment further in support of Allan's post. I agree full-heartedly. Marriage is not the invisible line of what is appropriate and what is not in regards to cheating. It is never acceptable in any relationship, whether it is a month long or 10 year long couple, married or not. If you're cheating, you don't deserve your partner. I don't care whether you're a professional athlete or just an average-joe. You are not in love with them and certainly do not respect them.
My comment on yesterday's post in regards to the issue of baseball players having free reign to cheat simply meant that it does happen, a lot. I am not justifying the behaviour. It's a disgusting occurence. However I am not a feminist, so did not take a strong stand on the issue. It also did not shock me, which is why I could make light of the topic. I have heard a lot of stories from a Jays insider about baseball players (on all teams, not just the Jays) regularly tossing balls to female fans after writing their phone number and/or location to meet up later that night on the ball. I lost respect for them long ago. If you happen to be dating one of these men who think these out of town hook-ups are OK, then leave his dirty ass - he doesn't love you. It's not a real relationship.
And I don't care if this post is long (or lame), its a public site. You chose to read it. Suck it up.
Rambo
I believe that any man who cheats on his wife/girlfriend deserves to beaten within a inch of his life by a golf club..baseball bat whatever that woman can find. Then maybe his cheating ass will respect her.
Now to Tiger Woods. A couple of comments. I'm sure his dead father would be proud that his son grew up to be a complete douche bag and dead beat father. I'm sure that's the kind of son he always dreamed of having. Congrats dirt bag on dragging your fathers name through the mud..how do you think little Tiger would have felt if he found out his dad was cheating on his mother...? Disgusting..
Secondly, comeon ppl he is a golfer for god sake..95% of the female population probably doesnt even know who he is. I can see the conversation..
Dirt Bag: "Hi Im Tiger Woods"
Stupid Female: "Sorry who..?"
Dirt Bag: "Tiger Woods..professional golfer"
Stupid Female: "Sorry still not sure.."
Dirt Bag: "I make a gazillion dollars a year."
Stupid Female:" Lets bang"
It certainly isnt Tigers looks getting him all these woman. There isn't anything attractive about Tiger other than his money. He should kiss the ground his smokin hot wife walks on...with his disgusting receding hairline and big ass teeth. Yuck. Sure hes got a smokin hot bod..but lets face it..ud have to put a paper bag over his head before you could f**k him. YUCK.
Now for the dirty ass women who are sleeing with him. Have some respect for yourself and the entire female population. If a man is married..BACK OFF. He will never leave her for you..and if he does..you ain't getting any of his money anyway...and if he cheated on his wifer with you..you can be 100% positive that he will cheat ON YOU. Stupid stupid whores.
Professional athletes are not entirely stupid..they can understand right from wrong..good from bad. If you are married/attached cheating is WRONG...doesnt matter how much money you make..what your job is..or how drunk you are. Not all pro athletes cheat..therefore the generalization that its "part of the job" is completley ridiculous. Do you think Steve Nash cheats? Or what about Roger Federer? Good men don't cheat...doesn't matter who they are.
We as society need to stop making allowances for pro athletes and start holding them accountable for their actions. I wish Tigers wife got a hold of him before the police got there...maybe that golf club could have gone to good use.
"Sanctity of marriage" has nothing to do with the relgious connotations - there are other meanings to sanctity which, had you not simply discounted my opinion as religious babble, you might have looked into. In this case, I meant that marriage is something to honoured and cherished not religously, but as a union with someone one truly loves.
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