Thursday, August 11, 2011

Guest Column: The Return of Cszem's Pen

While I was unable to join Tewks for the podcast this week, I’d be remiss if I didn’t weigh in on the weekend that was in the world of golf. While Gretzpo filled in with a (surprisingly?) admirable effort, his credibility was pretty much shot when he tried to suggest that Steve Williams’ comments were a slight on all of his previous players – not just Tiger, but also Greg Norman and Gavin Floyd (or was it Floyd Landis?).

Regardless, I couldn’t resist the urge to weigh in. The premise of my column has actually evolved as the week has progressed. My initial reaction was to write a post questioning Stevie’s sanity. As the boys discussed in the podcast, how could he honestly suggest that it was the greatest week of his professional career?

We’re talking about a guy who has been a part of major championships with multiple players. So I think we can all agree that the statement wasn’t true or accurate.

What we don’t know is why he said it. I see three possible answers to that question. The first one is pretty easy to disprove, the second is the one that everyone seems to be accepting as a universal truth, and the third is the one that is going to blow your mind.

Answer 1: It was just a slip.

Euphoria took over. It’s been a tumultuous few years for everyone in Tiger’s inner circle. Finally being free from the sworn silence and political correctness that is required of everyone on “Team Tiger”, Williams’s emotions took over. It was a big week for Stevie. For his new player to win (by 5 no less) the week of Tiger’s return is pretty monumental. And despite what Gretzpo would have you believe, the Bridgestone Invitational is a top 10 stop on the tour calendar. So he was rightfully overjoyed with the win.

Under those circumstances, anyone might say something a bit exaggerated. But here’s the thing, and here’s why we can disprove this one so easily: it wasn’t something he let slip one time, and then tried to backtrack on. He repeatedly drove home the point. Even his “apologies” since the weekend haven’t really retracted the statement; he’s just said that they weren’t meant to offend.

Answer 2: He’s a vindictive prick.

Like I said, this is the one most people assume to be true. He’s like a woman scorned, and he wants everyone to know how great his new man is. Tewks even alludes to this in the podcast. You have to admit that this seems pretty likely. Maybe in time, with the benefit of some hindsight and perspective, he’ll realize everything Tiger did for him.

What did Tiger do for Stevie exactly?

1) Only made him one of the highest 20 paid “athletes” in the history of the PGA Tour. His career earnings dwarf those of many prominent golfers throughout history (and I’m not just talking about Nicklaus and Palmer, because the purses were so small back then). This is a caddie we’re talking about.

2) Tiger made him – without question – the most famous caddie in the history of golf (I’m pretty sure he’s the only one who’ll ever get title billing on this site…..or TMZ or something that people actually read).

3) Made him one of the biggest celebrities and one of the most famous sports-figures EVER in his homeland of New Zealand.

In time, Williams might see all of these things and realize that his good fortune in carrying Tiger’s bag for the last 12 years was a gift that likely no one will receive ever again -- the greatest meal ticket in history. I’m not saying Stevie’s not a great caddie -- he absolutely is terrific at his job -- but if you think Tiger wasn’t winning at Pebble in 2000 with Tewks or Gretzpo carrying his bag (and probably farting in his backswing) you’re nuts. Williams got to go along for the ride with a transcendent athlete, and I hope that in time he recognizes that.

Answer 3: Stevie is the greatest caddie in the history of mankind.

Now go with me for a second.

Over the years, Stevie has been called many things (‘bully’ and ‘jerk’ come to mind), but one thing I’ve never heard him called is disloyal. Stevie was fiercely loyal and protective of Tiger. Even over the last couple of years, when it seemingly would have strained his own marriage to continue being protective of Tiger, Stevie stood by his man.

So why would that change now? When the news first broke of the Woods/Williams “break up”, my initial assumption was actually that Stevie ASKED for the change. It’s clear at this point (to me at least; Tewks disagrees) that Tiger’s best days are behind him. Even if he conjures up some magic to win a few more majors (can they play at Augusta more often? Like how about a PGA Championship there just for fun?), it’s still never going to be like it was. So why would he be this devastated if Tiger asked him to move in a different direction? Wouldn’t the logical reaction be:

“I love Tiger, he’s like a brother to me. We had the best years of our respective careers together and I wouldn’t trade any of it. At this point, a change is probably the best thing for both of us. I’m excited about the possibilities of working with Adam Scott full time, and I hope this change helps Tiger get back to where we all want him to be.”

What would have been the downside to that? Stevie would have looked classy, and still could have gone on his merry way. What does he accomplish by throwing these barbs around?

What he accomplishes is a slight bump for Tiger’s approval rating. Even if the comments haven’t made Tiger a “sympathetic” figure -- he’s still got a long way to go for that -- the public support seems to suggest that Stevie’s in the wrong here. We’re no longer talking about Tiger’s swing troubles (dead last in fairways at Firestone), Tiger’s lady troubles, or Tiger’s injury troubles. We’re talking about Stevie.

It’s a small step in the turnaround process for Tiger, but it feels like a step nonetheless. What if Stevie knew exactly what he was doing all along? What if throwing himself on the sword was the last act in the greatest partnership the game has ever known? What if Steve Williams is actually a public relations mastermind that has completely tricked the public and the media into unwittingly defending a guy they have been taking potshots at for almost two full years?

Nah, he’s probably just a prick.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Talkin' with Tewks Live - Happy Gilmore

Gretzpo filled in admirably for CSzem on this week's podcast. Obviously, the big point to discuss would be Adam Scott's victory at Bridgestone with an assist from Steve Williams. But CSzem felt that was his bailiwick and promised to write a column on the topic for Thursday.

Thus, Gretzpo and I only touch on the saga briefly before spending 15 minutes dissecting Happy Gilmore. Any quesitons you ever had about the movie are answered here.

And of course it wouldn't be a podcast without giving Gretzpo some time to discuss his beloved Blue Jays. We talk about the hot start of the Brett Lawrie and the relative hotness of his sister.

Talkin' with Tewks Live - Happy Gilmore

Enjoy.