Monday, May 26, 2008

Monthly Column


Yes... I thought I'd be able to do this weekly... and yes... I realize now that I'm teetering on barely being able to get it done once a month.

I'm actually talking about how often I have sex... but I agree that the blog should be updated more often.

Readers are in for a special treat though, as today's column is a special double shot of epic spewing proportions:

Blog Objective #1: Trip Review

So me and Tewks went to the Bahia Principe in San Juan, Dominican Republic in order to drink, meet ladies and recreate the beach volleyball scene from "Top Gun". We did all three and -much to our delight - kept our penises.

The trip wasn't without adversity though - in a display of grittiness unparalelled on a 7 day drinking binge Tewks broke his foot playing beach volleyball.... and finished the game. After a frightening trip to a Puerto Plata Hospital and a Spanglish conversation about the perils of the Dominican society with our cab driver, Tewks sported a hard cast for the next three days.

"I can literally feel Crossfit healing my body."

Then, on the day before we left, after being goaded into a game of beach volleyball, Tewks ditched the cast and put on an athletic display worthy of a cheesy 80's montage.

In the end, the cripple and the un-coordinated ogre trounced the pair of 5'5 girls 25-13, and made a statement that males are still the superior gender.

Objective #2: The Unveiling of Tewks - "Mike"

Tewks needs your help ... he lives a life of sloth mixed with hardcore training. To keep up this lifestyle, he needs to get a job in show business.

He's got his foot in the door: he's been nominated as one of Canada's top 12 bachelors as chosen by Cosmo Canada. The prize on the line is a modelling contract that will allow him to not have to work, and will allow me to join his entourage and quit my job... so for both his sake and mine, vote for "Mike".

That's him at the top of the column... and here's the link so you can vote for him... he's the top picture on the left:

http://cosmotv.ca/hotguys/default.aspx

If you check out his profile, I can't answer why he's playing baseball with a shirt off, I just guess that's the path he's chosen.