Flu Shot Kerfuffle

As an athlete, normally I am in favour of athletes receiving special treatment in a variety of circumstances. For example, at university I was able to bypass the line at some bars and not have to pay cover due to my status as a varsity athlete.

Also, some professors would be lenient on grades and due dates if they knew you played on a sports team (I also showed up to some classes shirtless, which may have helped with some of the female instructors, but that’s a story for a different day).

However, I cannot in good conscience support NHL players receiving the swine flu vaccine ahead of members of priority groups that are at high risk for severe complications from H1N1. This morning, I saw several players try to explain, with a straight face, that they possessed the same risk factor as children under five, pregnant women, and those with chronic conditions.

How pathetic is that? These are probably the same guys who don’t give up their seat on the subway for old people and can’t fathom the ‘women and children’ first evacuation plan on the Titanic.

Their reasons for being considered priority are as follows: they spend a lot of time together in close quarters and they travel a lot.

Big Fucking Deal.

I’m pretty sure schoolchildren spend just as much time in tightly knit groups as hockey players. And, being adults, hockey players should know better than to go to work sick or to share water bottles. The travel thing is equally ridiculous. Thousands of businessmen travel all the time and I don’t see Health Ministries telling CEOs they are part of a priority group.

In fact, professional athletes should be the last people receiving the swine flu vaccinations. One of the main benefits of being an athlete (and training like one) is superior physical conditioning over the general population. Not only are athletes stronger, faster, more agile, and in better cardiovascular health, they also have stronger and more efficient immune systems.

I have never gotten a flu shot in my life and, since I started doing Crossfit, I’ve never been out of commission for days at a time with the flu. At time, have I shown symptoms and been under the weather? Absolutely.

But I have a foolproof sickness prevention plan. When I start feeling less than optimal, I get my ass to the gym and lift some heavy iron. If necessary, I will then stand in front of a full length mirror and flex until I drive the germs, microbes, virus etc. out of my body.

It never fails. Even my red and white blood cells are intimidating.

What pisses me off the most about NHL players receiving their vaccines with the priority groups is the fact they’re jumping the queues as well. Even if hockey players were deemed to be at a high risk for contracting H1N1, there’s no logical reason for them to be put at the front of the line while thousands of regular people have to wait for hours to get their flu shots.

Karma is going to come back and bite the Calgary Flames in the ass; I guarantee they won’t make the playoffs this year. I’d say the same thing about the Leafs but they weren’t going to make the playoffs in the first place.
My favourite person in this scandal is Ontario Health Minister Deb Matthews (and the gal pictured above). In an interview yesterday about the queue jumping, she looked straight into the camera and barked, “I don’t care who you are, how rich you are, how famous you are. If you’re not in the priority group, get out of the line and let the people who are in the priority groups get their vaccination.”

Yes ma’am. I must admit I got a little turned on when I heard this. I’ll bet she’s an absolute dynamo in the boudoir.