Unforgivable Oversight

I had originally planned on making Monday’s posts all about the NFL. Today, I wanted to discuss the respective greatness of the two remaining undefeated teams, the Indianapolis Colts and New Orleans Saints. I pictured a faux Super Bowl preview of the two juggernauts while discussing their contrasting styles: the Saints’ razzle dazzle offensive explosions compared to the cold, calculated precision of Indy’s attack.

However, that plan went out the window when I discovered that one of the most influential people of our time celebrated his 40th birthday last Wednesday and I knew nothing about it until the weekend. Who am I talking about? The one, the only: Matthew McConaughey.

How was this not a national holiday (and I mean all nations)? And how was this not a bigger story in the mainstream media? Kids should have been taken out of school, government offices should have been closed, and marijuana should have been legalized for one day.

I follow pop culture and celebrity gossip way more than any straight male should and I had no idea Wooderson turned forty. That, in itself, is an absolute tragedy. The women’s network couldn’t have strung together a romantic comedy marathon showing only McConaughey fare? How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Failure to Launch, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, Fool’s Gold should have been playing on an endless loop for 24 hours.

Obviously, I am a huge McConaughey fan. He procured a spot on my Top 10 Mancrush list (there’s no way he should be ranked at #5; that’s my fault as he should have been the questionable number one as my mancrush has only grown in the past 18 months).

Sure, he makes some crappy movies but he is exceedingly likeable on screen. I mean, did anyone see Surfer, Dude? It was one of the worst films I have ever seen but I made it through the entire 85 minutes because McConaughey was in it and there are a lot of scenes with naked chicks (an addition I’m attributing to Matty in his role as producer).

I did a little research on his big day and found an article on the People magazine website, which has a video showing 28 shirtless photos of Matthew in fifty-three seconds. I got way too excited when the site told me I could get “Matthew McConaughey Sexy and Shirtless 28 Ways.”

My fascination with the Texan isn’t sexual (I don’t think), but I can’t help but be impressed with the man. McConaughey’s commitment to physical fitness and positive outlook on life is something to admire. Upon turning 40, McConaughey said he plans to “spend some more time with my family and friends today, grillin' steaks and sippin' beers, celebratin' more to live for.”

Who wouldn’t want to hang out with the guy?

To mark the occasion (albeit belatedly), I played half an hour of shirtless football yesterday afternoon in the glorious sunshine channelling my inner McConaughey.

(Then I hit on some high school girls to channel my inner Wooderson)