Talkin' With Tewks: You Give Pitchers a Bad Name

First let me begin by saying that I love Cito Gaston. He has rejuvenated the Blue Jays’ organization and actually has people in Toronto believing in a team that has two stiffs in the middle of their lineup (I’m looking at you Vernon “I can’t hit with runners is scoring position” Wells and Alex “I’m a huge douche who won’t give autographs to young fans after a 5 strikeout night” Rios).

But I take serious umbrage with Cito’s recent comments about American League pitchers batting in National League parks during interleague play. The following is a summary of his comments (I don’t feel like looking up the exact quotes because I want to watch Phil Mickelson begin his quest for a US Open title; get well soon Amy):

I don’t want my pitchers hitting. It’s dangerous for them; they aren’t used to it and are risking serious injury every time we play in a National League park.

Are you fucking kidding me Cito?

Sure he’s upset since Scotty Downs was forced to take an AB in Philly earlier this week and sprained his big toe (I didn’t even know that was possible), but to me this seems like an egregious knee jerk reaction.

Cito is not the only big league manager to express his concerns about the safety of AL pitchers hitting. Last year, Yankees starter and current pitching corpse, Chien Ming Wang hurt his ankle rounding the bases and missed the majority of the season; Joe Torre got up on his soap box and espoused on the horrors of pitchers doing insane activities like running and swinging a bat. You know basic baseball tasks.

Here’s my problem: as a pitcher myself, I have a hard enough time convincing non baseball fans that I am indeed an athlete. They think you just stand on a little hill and throw a ball; how hard can that be? I don’t need respected members of the baseball establishment saying running and swinging are too difficult for pitchers.

We already have a reputation of being high maintenance, quirky and diva-esque (I am absolved from such generalizations because I am in better physical condition and can lift more weight than most position players); comments by Torre and Gaston just add fuel to an already gasoline soaked fire.

This is the part I don’t get; no National League managers are calling for the institution of the designated hitter to protect their pitchers. Joe and Cito will argue that their pitching staffs aren’t used to the supposed ‘grind” of running the bases.

Here’s a new rule: if a guy can’t sprint a maximum of 360 feet without injuring himself, then he is not allowed on a major league roster. I don’t care if Stephen Strasburg can throw 102 miles per hour; if he can’t run a windsprint without pulling a hammy then he can ready himself for an enlightening career in Rookie ball.

Running, and lifting weights for that matter, should be an integral component of any pitcher’s training regimen; there is no better mechanism to build stamina, endurance and durability.

At some point in every pitcher’s career, he played alternate positions growing up before focusing all of his talent on the hill. Also, more often that not, pitchers were usually the top athletes on their teams. So how do these guys go from athletic prodigies to not being capable of running without falling down? American League pitchers are like PFC William Santiago in A Few Good Men. And I’m Colonel Nathan R. Jessup.

Who the fuck are these American League Pitchers? Apparently they aren’t very happy with having to hit and run and be real baseball players. They are supposed to be professional athletes and for some reason they can’t run from here to there without collapsing. What the fuck is going on with these AL teams? What are we going to do about this?

No we’re not going to bring in the designated hitter in games in NL parks. We’re going to train the lads. And if we can’t go through a season without a pitcher getting hurt on the basepaths, then I’m going to blame the strength and conditioning coaches. And then I’m going to kill them.

Tewks is a frequent contributor to Gretzpo’s Sports Blog.