At long last, Blue Jays fans will be saved from the unfunny and generally nonsensical ramblings that Jamie Campbell has forced upon Sportsnet viewers for the past five years.
I don’t want to turn this into an attack on Jamie Campbell the person, as he seems like a genuinely nice guy, but he has no business as a national level baseball announcer for Major League Baseball.
I know most television networks leave the heavy lifting in terms of baseball knowledge to the colour commentators, but viewers at least deserve a play-by-play announcer who has an ounce of familiarity with the game. Some nights, I seriously questioned whether or not Campbell had ever witnessed a game of baseball before. He has zero comprehension of baseball slang and terminology.
And if your play-by-play isn’t a baseball expert, fine, but give us someone with an edgy sense of humour. Tell me some funny stories, anecdotes or interesting quotes. Campbell’s sense of humour can best be described as “nursing home compatible.” The dorkiness and blandness of his “jokes” are something only a grandmother could love.
Baseball fans aren’t getting any younger. Why would you have a guy calling games whose talents are best appreciated by people named Muriel, Ethel, Blanche and Maureen?
However, I am impressed with Campbell’s knowledge of baseball statistics. He knows way more useless statistical information about the game than I could ever dream of remembering. He constantly spouts off a never-ending supply of stats from Blue Jays lore. Unfortunately, does anyone really give a shit how many home runs Doug Ault hit in 1977?
Campbell supporters will claim that it’s not entirely his fault for the lacklustre Jays broadcasts. They’ll point fingers at his rotating band of colour men: Pat Tabler, Darren Fletcher and Rance Mulliniks.
You can be the funniest, most engaging colour man in the world, but if you are asked the following question by your play-by-play guy, “The count’s 0-2; he doesn’t want to take another strike here, does he?” your chance at being witty of insightful just sailed out the window.
(By the way, that actually happened in a game last year)
Don’t get me started on the third man on Blue Jays broadcasts, Sam Cosentino. Hopefully, he’ll be next to follow Jamie Campbell out the door. Everything I said about Jamie Campbell can be repeated verbatim for Sam Cosentino.
True story: I was at a media party last year and Sam Cosentino was in attendance. We both took a liking to the same woman. It was mano a mano for this young lady’s affections.
It was a massacre. Poor Sammy didn’t last five minutes with her before she started looking for a way out of that riveting conversation. I stepped up and did my best Julius Caesar impression: I came, I saw, I saw conquered.
Do you think I could have done the same against a silver fox like Buck Martinez? Absolutely not. This is a guy who made a putout at home plate with a broken leg. He would have slept with her at the party right in front of me.
And that’s why I’m ecstatic for Blue Jays Baseball on Rogers Sportsnet this year. The broadcasts are now in the hands of a true professional.
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2 comments:
The only thing I disagree with is the part where you hold back from a personal attack on Jamie Campbell. I think we should totally and unequivocally be attacking his character. Even if it's unjustified, it's at least some semblance of payback for absolutely ruining my summers for the last few years.
Baseball isn't like other sports (quite obviously)....you live with a team day-in and day-out , with very few off days. I've had to listen to Jamie Campbell as much as I have to listen to my wife from April to the end of September (realistically this probably equals a full 12-months of how much I listen to my wife)....and he was unequivocally awful.
If he was REALLY a good person, as you suggest he might be, he would have resigned years ago so I didn't have to listen to him. So I'm going to assume he's as much of a jerk as he is an abomination to broadcasting. Our lives would have been richer if Sportsnet replaced him with a chimp (although who doesn't like chimps).
Give me an old pro like Buck Martinez. I'd get into bed with him any day of the week. And I wouldn't just lie there.....
Well played.
As you can recall, this blog was birthed on a Jamie Campbell rant ... it was after this horrible call at Fenway:
"And there's a high shot by Manny Ramirez... not very deep..."
Oh... what a relief...
"But deep enough! Three run shot! Boston takes the lead."
Fuck you, Jamie Campbell.
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