Not That There's anything Wrong With That

Before I begin, an excellent comment was posted on yesterday’s diatribe against technology. He Who Hits and Hits Bombs made a salient argument for technology when pointing out that my carousel of boner-inducing ladies is only made possible because of advances in technology.

A similar picture would be a pixilated disaster on the original Nintendo Entertainment System. I salute technology for giving us the ability to view sexy babes in high quality from the comfort of our living rooms. And thanks to HWHaHB for bringing this to my attention (and also for suggesting today’s babe).

The big story reverberating around the sports world this morning is the admission by the son of Toronto Maple Leafs General Manager Brian Burke: Brendan Burke is an openly gay man.

Now, I’m not going to get up on my moral high horse and declare that homosexuality is a sin because it says so in the Bible. The Bible also says that premarital sex and excessive alcohol consumption are sins, so it’s not really a piece of literature I want to associate myself with.

If you’re gay, be gay. I don’t really care. That’s your choice (especially if you’re a hot chick willing to experiment). I didn’t initially understand why this story even constitutes news until I read that Brendan Burke is a student manager for the Miami University (Ohio) hockey team. He watches and breaks down scouting video of opponents and keeps goaltender statistics.

The ESPN.com article that broke the story was a tremendously positive piece of journalism that detailed how accepting everyone was to Burke’s admission that he was gay. I think it’s fantastic that the Burke family was so accepting of their son and brother, but I find it hard to believe that the Miami hockey team was 100% supportive of this admission.

Look, I have played on dozens of different sports teams and the locker room is not a place for the faint of heart. Guys make fun of and insult each other constantly; it’s what we do. That’s why I can’t buy Miami coach Enrico Blasi’s assertion that the players “are very sensitive to language and how they talk in the locker room.”

Bullshit.

You could walk into any locker room in North America and within five minutes you would hear one guy call another ‘gay’ or a ‘fag’ for doing something stupid. It’s not meant to be derogatory; it’s just part of the sports team culture. You will get insulted for being different. We make fun of people for being stupid, short, fat, skinny, black, white or Asian. Nothing is off limits.

It’s not meant to be malicious, it’s just that making fun of each other is how guys show admiration for one another. Is it politically correct behaviour? Of course not, but we don’t give a shit.

We have to be politically correct in pretty much every facet of life; give us the locker room to do as we please. It’s really no one’s business except the guys on the team.

Would I have a problem with Brendan Burke being my team manager? Absolutely not.

Where the situation gets tricky is if Burke was a member of the team and took showers after games and practices with the guys. There would be some players uncomfortable with being naked in front of someone who could theoretically be interested in them sexually.

There’s a reason why teams with mixed gender players have to shower and change separately. There is a fear of things becoming sexual. I’m not saying I would be worried a gay player would try to come on to me while I’m soaping up, but there would be some slight trepidation.

I look at it this way: would I be uncomfortable getting naked in front a straight girl to whom I had zero physical attraction? Yes. This is the same issue. Just because I don’t want to be naked in front of the guy doesn’t mean I hate him or am repulsed by his sexual orientation.

And don’t call me homophobic; I watch Will and Grace for Christ’s sake.