Random Thoughts

The biggest stories of the Olympics have been:

1) Michael Phelps' domination in the pool

2) Canada having less medals than Togo (until recently)

3) Communist/Dictatorship China hosting a competition of freedom and goodwill

Luckily, I will focus on none of these in this post.

You know what's frustrating about these Olympics? I was initially happy because they had raised the minimum age for gymnasts to 16 ... meaning I felt a little less creepy while ogling the females. But then China had to spoil things by fielding a team with 14 year olds... thanks China... you ruined it for everyone.

Okay... now we're down that path... we might as well keep going...

You know what I find the hottest sport to be in the Olympics? Women's Volleyball. Not the beach kind... the indoor kind... there's something about those shorts and the comraderie and celebration after every point: they get so excited over any sort of minor accomplishment - that's definitely the kind of woman I need in the boudoir.

Jerry Seinfeld does a great bit on the Olympics ... how biathlon was odd because it combined cross country skiing and shooting... "What's next? Swimming and strangling a guy?"

It's true though: there's just too many sports at the Olympics that no one cares about ... they need to update these games. My first suggestion: take out Equestrian events in favour of Foxy Boxing.

The Jays continue to ruin my life. Every time they get on a hot streak I start to believe they can make a mini run at the playoffs... then they do something stupid like drop 3 straight to the frickin' Cleveland Indians. You know what? I'm not falling for it this time ... the Jays still have no hope for the playoffs... even if Adam Lind continues to be the hottest player in baseball... he's absolutely killing the ball... that's what I meant by that...

... I'm not gay.

Go see Pineapple Express ... Seth Rogen has the ability to be the next Jim Carey/Adam Sandler... provided he doesn't try and move into "serious roles" ... or make a shitty movie with "Zohan" in the title.